Eventually I sit in a local park. I put my earbuds in and let a podcast wash over me. A forensic accountant is explaining how a killer laundered money through a chain of dry cleaners. It’s very soothing.
My phone rings around eleven. Carlos. I decline the call.
He texts.
Carlos
We need to talk about this.
I don’t respond.
Carlos
I was wrong. I know that now. Can we please discuss Vienna?
I turn my phone on silent and shove it back in my pocket. I get back to walking. After another ten minutes I stop on a bridge and look out at the water, and instead of opening Carlos’s texts I open Emma’s contact. She’s in Edinburgh right now, probably mid-morning, and I know she has a presentation for her internship that she’s nervous about. I type: How are you feeling about your meeting? and hit send before I can talk myself out of it.
Three dots appear almost immediately.
Emma
Terrified. Distract me. How’s Berlin?
Jade
Long story. You first. Tell me everything. Start with what you’re wearing.
I lean against the railing and read her answer, and for a little while I’m not in Berlin anymore.
By noon, I’m exhausted and hungry. I find a small café and order a sandwich I barely taste. My phone shows three missed calls from Carlos and two more texts.
I open my email instead. There’s one from Rebecca with the subject line: Vienna Logistics.
I click it open, my stomach sinking.
Jade,
* * *
Hope Berlin went well! Attached are the final details for Vienna. The venue is larger than Berlin (350 attendees), so please be prepared for a bigger crowd. I’ve also confirmed that several major pharmaceutical executives will be in attendance, along with press from three medical journals. This is a high-visibility event. I’m counting on you and Carlos to deliver. Let me know if you need anything.
* * *
Rebecca
Three hundred and fifty people. Major executives. Press from medical journals.
I close my eyes and rest my forehead on the cool table.
I can do this.
I have to do this.
Even if Carlos thinks I’m unprofessional.
Even if he’s right.
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