Page 294 of Operation: Defiance

“In the hospital,” I murmur, “you said ‘maybe in this life.’”

“I remember.”

“I’ve been thinking about that.” I look down at my hands. At the fading bruises around my wrists. “I don’t know how to do this. Friendship. People leave, or I leave, or I’m too much for them and they stop showing up.” My heart kicks hard against my ribs. “You showed up. With a sniper rifle and flash bangs and donuts. And now you’re here.”

“I am.” She doesn’t try to minimize her actions. Or assign meaning to them. She lets them be what they are.

“I think…in this life.” The words break me open, the fear and pain and exhaustion too much to hold in. A sob slips out, hoarse and raw. And everything shatters at once, tears spilling down my cheeks and my body trapped in the rubble.

Inara doesn’t try to stop it. Doesn’t tell me everything will be okay. Doesn’t do anything but place her hand between us, palm up.

I grab on with more force than I intend. It’s too much and not enough at the same time.

The next sob shakes through me, and I turn to her, unable to find the words for what I need, but hoping she understands.

It only takes a single moment. She wraps me in a careful embrace, letting me cry until there’s nothing left.

But amid all my tears, I took back one more thing they stole from me. This moment. Being held by a friend as my world crashes down around me.

Inara helps me up, walks me to the bed, and whispers, “Get some sleep. I’ll keep watch. I’ve got you, Raine. I promise.”