Page 74 of Here You Are

“Mmm, you look gorgeous.”

“I was going to take this to the grave; however, you have left me no choice. I have a hemorrhoid," I reply, intentionally sucking all of the sexiness out of the room.

“Ooh, I love it when you talk dirty to me.”

“I’m serious, Ben. How can I be sexy to you with a hemorrhoid?”

“While we make love, if I commit to looking at your face, instead of your ass, will that help?”

“It’s a start.”

“I know you don’t have your normal body right now, but there is nothing that could ever make you stop being sexy to me. Nothing.”

I open my mouth to respond, and he says, “Not even hemorrhoids.”

I eventually relented and gave the man what he desired. He is so good at making me feel beautiful, that I almost forgot about all of my pregnancy-related ailments for the night. Almost.

Chapter 29

April 10, 2022

Ben ❤️: I’m going to go get the lawn ready for the shower today plus I have to stop and get gas. Need anything?

Me: Too late for a surrogate?

Ben ❤️: I’m not a doctor, but I would like to play one in the bedroom. Shit, got distracted. I think it’s too late for a surrogate, and you’re doing so well at growing our little guy! Almost fully cooked! I was thinking of grabbing you a snack.

Me: I’m good. I don’t want to outgrow the outfit I'm planning to wear before the shower happens. But thank you for taking such good care of me.

Ben ❤️: I think you’re safe since it’s in a few hours. Which means I need to get going so I can get the lawns looking beautiful and myself de-stankified before people show up. No sweatstains today, Toots! It’s going to be a great day. Love you!

Me: Love you too, Grass Daddy.

Ben ❤️: Toots. Don’t get me all riled up, I have too much to do.

Sheila Erickson, Holly Thompson, and Widow Jenkins threw me a baby shower. I wanted to keep it small. It was just the hosts, the girls, Cora, Syd, Ben’s mom, and sisters, and my mom.

Surprising no one except for myself, my parents did not ground me for being pregnant and were super stoked to get to be grandparents. As much as I thought it was looking like a lost cause for myself, my parents had given up on being grandparents. Cora and I were both still a long way from parenthood—at least by the traditional path. When I told them, my mom’s expression went from shock to excited giggles in less than a minute. She’s been great, and it’s given us something to work on together, bringing us a lot closer than we have been in many years.

WJ hosted the baby shower at her house. It was as extravagant and tacky as you would expect. The sweetest gifts were from the girls. Taylen and Linden went with their aunt and picked out outfits for their baby brother. Brooklyn had been hiding in her room, working on a special project, and it turned out to be a little hat she learned how to crochet by watching YouTube videos. Ben crashed the shower with flowers and delivered a PG-13 kiss in front of everyone that had me blushing, the ladies swooning, and the girls squealing with disgust. My pregnancy hormones were in full effect, and my hemorrhoids had calmed down. As a result, I had become invested in our sex life. For that reason, and for the possibility that it would help get this baby out of me in a healthy, but sooner-than-later time frame.

By the time the shower was held, I was fully moved in with Ben, and my house was under contract. Such a strange feeling to move across the road and watch your house be sold to someone else. I was going to miss my house. However, the person with the farm behind my house had finally broken down and sold his land, so the backyard cows were gone anyway. The fun part was that a family with a couple of little kids moved in, bringing the median age of our neighborhood down from seventy-five to sixty-five. We’ve had a few neighborhood chats with them, and Ben is making it his number one priority to make them our friends. He bought me flowers for the front porch so I can water them and eavesdrop.

A week before my due date, I went to bed feeling…weird. Obviously, everything hurts since I am nine months pregnant. There was something that felt different.

As we were lying in bed, I snuggled up into Ben’s arms.

“Babe. I feel weird.”

“You are weird,” he replied.

After receiving a loving shoulder punch, Ben continued, “What do you mean, weird? Are you having contractions?”

“No, I don’t think so. I have never had contractions before, but I think I would probably notice.”

He pulled me closer to him and said, “Yeah, you would notice. If nothing hurts, just try to get some sleep. I’m sure you’ll wake up in a few hours in labor.”

“What?! Why would you say that?”