Page 62 of Here You Are

He elbows me on my side and says, “Hey! I’m still sensitive about that, and I thought I made it up to you. In fact, I know I made it up to you. Several times in one night. Are you going to tease me about this forever?”

I glare at him and gesture to the child, somewhat successfully Skip It-ing ten feet away, and he just shrugs. He knows well enough to know when a child isn’t paying attention to an adult conversation. I’m still learning.

“So, now what?”

“I was only worried about Brooklyn, and she was surprisingly chill about it. Maybe when it actually happens, she will have more feelings about it, but I think I did what I needed to do as far as a conversation. Taylen is too young to really get into it with, and currently you're Linden’s favorite person. I think I'll just talk with the girls at supper about inviting you over sometimes to hang out, because I like spending time with you. If it blows up, I’ll let you know. If not, maybe you can come over and have supper with us tomorrow night? Just kind of ease into it. What do you think, Toots?” he asks, pulling me back to his chest and planting a sneaky kiss on my forehead.

“Sure. I think that would be fine. And just to be clear, I’m dating you. I’m not trying to be any type of person to your girls other than a friend. I wouldn’t even know how to do anything else.”

“All my girls want is someone to listen to them and someone to play with them. And you're pretty damn good at that already.”

Our first supper together went okay. I could tell Brooklyn was feeling a little awkward, but she seemed to warm up by the end of the night. Linden was excited to show me all of her things, and Taylen just wants someone to get the tangles out of her Barbie’s hair. Spending time with them is a far cry from my evenings alone watching TV or reading a book. It’s loud and chaotic. And it feels really nice.

So, that is how the next few weeks go. A few nights a week, I go over and help them make supper. We eat together, we play together, and then when it is their bedtime, I go home.

And then after they are in bed, I sneak back in so Ben and I can play together in the downstairs spare bedroom. Ben calls it the sex dungeon.

Chapter 25

September 15, 2021

Me: UGH.

Grass Daddy: What’s up? Still feeling shitty?

Me: Yes, I thought maybe I ate something weird, but it’s been several days.

Grass Daddy: Do you want to just stay home and rest tonight?

Me: No. I want to see you. And if this is how I’m going to feel for the rest of my life, I might as well learn how to deal with it. I don’t think I’m sick or anything; I just feel crappy.

Grass Daddy: I’ll take you anyway I can get you. The girls wanted to make supper for you, if that's ok?

Me: Aww, that sounds nice. I don’t have much of an appetite, but I’ll fake it.

I hear a soft knock on the bathroom door and hear Ben ask, “Can I come in?”

“Yes, but I don’t look pretty.”

Through the door, he says, “Did you forget how turned on I am by vomit?”

“Gross.”

I’m sitting on the floor next to the toilet, trying to assess if it’s safe for me to leave the bathroom. As soon as I sat down at the dinner table and Brooklyn served me dinner, I got hit with a wave of nausea and immediately darted off to the bathroom and threw up. How I wish I were a graceful puker, but no, I sound like a dying pterodactyl when I throw up.

Ben opens the door. He slides down the wall to sit next to me and asks, “Are you okay? I don’t want to laugh, although the girls think they poisoned you and are doing an internet search to figure out what they can whip up to make you feel better.”

This information is fucking adorable and causes me to groan at the same time. I lean forward to rest my head on the cool toilet seat, which is disgusting, but I am at a point in my life where basic hygiene is not a priority.

“How long has it been since you started feeling this shitty?” he asks, petting my hair.

“It’s been over a week. Throwing up is new, though. Maybe I should go to the doctor.” Ben doesn’t say anything, and I eventually lift my head up to continue our conversation.

“I’ll see how I feel after the weekend, and if it isn’t any better, I’ll go in. Do you have a toothbrush I can borrow?”

Ben just nods. I start to pull myself off the floor, and he stops me.

“Wait. I don’t know if this is the right thing to say; I don’t want to be hurtful. But…do you think there is any possible way you could be pregnant?”