Page 54 of Here You Are

He grins. “I would really, really like to try again. I have skills. I promise.”

“Do I still have to wait seven to ten days?”

“God, I hope not.” Another pause, and he gets a dirty little smirk on his face. “So last night, when you came home, did you…?”

My turn to be embarrassed. “No comment.”

“God, that’s hot. I think if you showed me your…process…that would be most helpful and educational.”

“We’ll see how it goes.”

He grabs my chin with his hands and gives me the eye contact I have been craving. Something to let me know that he isn’t going to let an awkward moment ruin whatever is happening between us. As I look into his eyes, I know I’m a goner. I’m smitten. I know he is not my usual type, but his wit and his charm have me absolutely enamored with him. The more I get to know him, the more attractive he becomes.

He pulls my face close to his, so our lips are almost touching, and whispers, “Thanks for being so amazing.” He pulls me closer until our lips meet in a brief kiss.

My insides are mush, and I need to step away before I take him to bed with a half-dozen intruders in my house. “We’d better get back out there before more rumors start swirling. Even though it is probably too late.”

Back in the kitchen, breakfast is served—donuts for the girls and an egg bake for the adults. While the morning intrusion was not what I had planned for my day, I feel happy. It’s nice to have people who care about me enough to meddle in my life. It’s nice to have a house full of people. I’m used to being alone most of the time. Would I have chosen an ex-addict, a flasher, a curmudgeonly old widow, baby-boomer swingers, and a single dad to be my friend group? Probably not, but that’s part of the fun. They can’t ever know this because then, they’ll never let me have any time to be by myself and just breathe.

Chapter 23

July 10th, 2021

Ben and I haven’t seen each other except in passing since I hosted breakfast, but we have stayed in touch by texting. He had a little family getaway to go camping, so he was out of town for a few days. Then, I got busy with work and had to pull some all-dayers. We have plans to spend time together Friday night. He had to get back to work, but his girls stayed camping with his family. This arrangement seems like a much easier way to spend time together, although it does add pressure to make the most of our kid-free time.

It doesn’t help that, as soon as he got past his embarrassment, he started sending me some scandalous texts throughout the week. More than once, I peeked through my curtains at his house, contemplating a surprise visit. I really needed to buckle down and get some work done this week, though, so I resisted the temptation. The anticipation is high. The tension is even higher.

Grass Daddy: Hey, Toots.

Me: Toots? Are you calling me farts? Fair enough, but you will not like your nickname if this sticks.

Grass Daddy: What? No! Toots! Like Tootsie?

Me: Ohhh. God, how old are you? This feels like the pet name of a 90-year-old man. I need to see your ID. I’m running away if you start calling me your little whippersnapper.

Grass Daddy: I didn’t lie about my age. And stop the hate; it's a cute nickname. Best used for someone who is cute, fun, charming, sweet, sexy, those legs… Wait, if I called you a fart nickname, what would mine be?

Me: Without having much time to think? Sweatstain.

Grass Daddy: WOW. You flatter me, Toots. I spent some time coming up with this perfectly suited pet name, and I expect you to enjoy it. Dress up fancier than lounge clothes tonight. Nothing crazy, but I’m taking you out on a real date.

Me: You are? You don’t have to.

Grass Daddy: I want to! My opportunities to leave home with no children are few and far between. I NEED TO LIVE. These girls are sucking me dry of my manhood. I spend a lot of time wearing makeup for someone who isn’t super interested in makeup. Plus, I need to woo you so you’ll let me take your clothes off tonight.

Me: What if I’m not in the mood?

Grass Daddy: You will be. 😉

Me: So confident. Ok, just don’t make me go clubbing.

Grass Daddy: Toots.

Me: What?

Grass Daddy: Don’t make me go clubbing. I’m way too old for that shit. And my AARP newsletter never sends coupons for clubs. We’re going out for the early bird special and home, in bed, by 9 p.m. 😉😉?? Is that enough winky faces to catch my drift? Be ready at 7.

At 6:50 p.m., my doorbell rings. I had a lot of nervous energy today, which led me to be ready to go on time. Everything is shaved and moisturized. Since we never discussed logistics, I assumed I would just walk over to his house at 7:00. At my age, I’m not wearing a matching thong and bra set. I did opt for my black strapless bra, instead of the flesh-toned one, and picked my sexiest pair of full booty coverage underwear. Normally, I would wear compression underwear under a dress, but that shit is way too embarrassing to remove in front of someone you don’t know very well. Meaning, I will have some chub rub to contend with tonight.