Page 20 of Infernal Vices

“Your secret’s safe with me, brother,” he said, tapping the side of his nose with a finger. “Blessed is the seed, and all that, but—“

I worried for a moment about what he would have me do to keep my secret, and as if reading my thoughts he said.

“—you’ll need to make the effort to be a little more sociable with us. We are your brothers; Benedict. We keep one another’s secrets and retain a sacred bond of trust.”

Although I did not believe in the great work Blake spoke of I found the fraternity and support comforted me. “Thank you.”

Ashe paused for a moment to take another suck of his cigar which was nearly down to the root. He observed me with those penetrating artist’s eyes. “I must confess I’m rather twisted by the green-eyed monster that you are in love with another! It’s damnably inconvenient.”

“Charles!” I exclaimed, “You are a handsome devil of what? Thirty? You will surely find a man who sets you aflame! It took me until my fiftieth year to find true love.”

“Twenty-nine. And I jolly well hope I don’t have to wait as long as you!” he guffawed, but he seemed pleased by my flattery.

“So, you will attend weekly dinners with your brothers, and be my companion for father’s soirée next month.” No matter how playful the delivery I had no choice in the matter. Ashe now knew valuable information about my private life. And while I was feeling rather delighted to have the chance to view Henry Ashe’s books, I understood I must continue on this knives edge of our friendship with a sober mind.

Birdie opened the parlour door and stepped into the room. Again, I had not noticed him coming down the stairs. I wondered how much he’d heard, a question that was answered the moment his eyes met mine. I knew for certain he’d lingered in the hall and listened in to the scandalously frank conversation for his hazel eyes shone with whisky light for me. He sat at my side, took my hand in his, and kissed my knuckles.

“Ah, darlings. You are too adorable; I can’t stand it!” Charles teased lightly as he stubbed out the cigar in the crystal ashtray. “Although I would be delighted to be the relish in a gentleman sandwich, I can see an invitation will not be forthcoming from two as doe eyed as you.” I was scandalized and amused in equal measure and both Sebastian and I were unable to resist the laughter that bubbled up from within us.

“It’s quite disgusting how happy you two are,” Ashe pouted foppishly. I was all too aware of the lightness in my heart caused not only by the wine I’d consumed, but also by the accepting company. It felt surprisingly good to be myself.

“Oh well, while I would love to stay and chat, three’s a crowd, and I have work to do!” Charles beamed, then tossed back the dregs of Port from his glass, placed it on the occasional table, and stood announcing, “It has been a most enlightening evening, Benedict. Please give my best wishes to your cook! A pleasure to meet you, Birdie. Do take good care of our Benedict, he is quite the treasure.”

Birdie let out a light chuckle, but I was rather embarrassed. “Would you like Wilkins to hail a growler, Charles?” I inquired.

“No, no, that’s quite alright. The rain has lessened a little, I have an umbrella and I don’t have far to go. A walk will do me good, blow away the cobwebs. Have to get the illustrations to my editor by lunchtime tomorrow,” he said, collecting his folio and clutching it to his chest.

Personally, I would not walk the streets of London at night, even in an affluent area like Bloomsbury, but Ashe knew his mind and who was I to coddle him.

After Wilkins helped Charles into his greatcoat, the folio still clutched to his chest for protection, we saw Ashe to the door, and both bade him goodnight. It was eight o’clock and I told Wilkins that I required nothing else so all servants could retire for the night.

“But, sir, I need to carry out my nightly duties and lock up,” he protested.

“Do not concern yourself. After the scare we’ve had today I am quite capable of turning off the lights and locking the door this one time.” Wilkins nodded and took his leave, heading to the doorway that led to his servant’s quarters in the basement.

I returned to the parlour, closing the door succinctly behind me. I rarely spent time in the parlour of an evening, but due to the rarity of having guests it was the warmest and most welcoming room. Sebastian was inspecting the damage to my defiled cabinet. He turned back to me and gave a regretful look.

“There was really no need to go at it so violently and do this much damage. A lock pick would have had it open in a jiffy.”

“Indeed. I suppose Inspector Dancer arrived at the same conclusion. Come.” I held out my hand. Sebastian returned to the couch where, to my surprise, he did not sit beside me, but eased himself onto my lap and threaded his arms around my neck. Heat rushed equally to my groin, and to burn my cheeks. I was not used to displays of ardour, most certainly not in this particular room. Sebastian fingered my dark curls away from my brow and caressed my face with trembling digits. Such tenderness made tears leap to my eyes.

“I heard everything you said,” he confessed softly.

“I thought so. I am a little embarrassed…those words should have been for you alone.”

“Ah, Benedict, my love, Ashe is correct, you are too adorable,” Sebastian leaned in and tasted my lips. He slowly mapped my jaw and throat with kisses and huskily said, “I know we did not have an arrangement to meet this evening, but I found I could not stay away. Last night was…”

“Exhilarating?” I offered.

He observed me through those round brass spectacles he’d used for his disguise. There was such tenderness in the look that my heart stuttered. “Yes. I have waited a lifetime to find a lover who understands me as you do. Each time we part I cannot stop thinking about you. I want more!”

I caressed his lightly stubbled cheek with the back of my fingers, “As do I.” I paused for a moment and then confessed.

“I was scared to death the first time you kissed me, terrified for my immortal soul. But then you kissed me again, and for once I chose to be honest with myself. There was a burning longing inside me and your kisses fanned the flame. No matter how many times I had been told what I wanted was wrong, I could not find any wrongness in the way we join together. I’m not afraid anymore, Sebastian. I’m not afraid.”

Sebastian said not a word, but leaned in and claimed my mouth. The kiss was soft and gentle, not the fevered plundering I’d expected. Fire ignited in my groin. I attempted to deepen the kiss but Sebastian pulled away, shaking his head, a playful grin on his face.

“Let’s go upstairs.”

“But, but…what about the servants?”

“Have you learned nothing from me Benedict Hannan?” Sebastian grinned.

“Let’s pretend.”

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