Page 6 of Back Where He Belongs

Kier blushed; he was a little bit flattered and a little uncomfortable at the same time. He did not know Dougie anymore if he was okay with flirting with another man while his boyfriend was upstairs sleeping. There must be something wrong with the relationship if Douglas was openly flirting with him.

Kier and Douglas had both been on the same page when they were a couple. There was no space for anyone else in the relationship, it was all or nothing, and cheating would be the final nail. Kier never cheated on Douglas, even though their relationship was a secret and everyone thought he and Douglas were both single. He’d had offers while at Uni, but no one could tempt him from his Dougie’s arms.

Kier wanted to be the kind of man who mated for life and took care of his own. It was ironic that since he’d walked away from Douglas and the security of their relationship, he’d been the lone wolf, uninterested in anything other than the occasional casual hookup.

Kier removed his damp boots and stood in his socks, the coldness of the flagstones stabbing through the soles of his feet. “D’ye have a spare pair of slippers?”

“Aye, I think I have a pair I nicked from a hotel stay. Hang on.” Douglas exited through a doorway and returned a couple of minutes later with a pair of gray flannel slippers for Kier. He handed them over and then continued unpacking the groceries.

Kier was so cold. He pulled off the damp socks and slid his feet into cozy slippers. He shrugged out of his parka and removed his reindeer hat and placed his damp coat over the back of a kitchen chair. Kier groaned as he ruffled his red hair and beard to chase the chill away.

Distracted, Douglas stopped what he was doing and put down the can of soup he was just about to place in the cupboard. Kier wore a red, white, and green sweater featuring a Kangaroo on the front wearing reindeer antlers.

“Gods, Freckle, let me get a proper look at ye.” He said with a sigh. Douglas strode over and placed his hands on Kier’s biceps and squeezed. Face to face; both men drank one another in. They’d both changed, and yet, stayed the same. Douglas’s eyes smiled at Kier, as Kier observed that Dougie still retained everything he had initially been attracted to in his youth—dark curls, an impish face, kind, soulful blue eyes, and a smile that made him feel like fireworks exploded in his chest every time the smile was directed at him. But there was more of Douglas. Literally. Dougie had bulked up and grown into himself, and the well-trimmed beard married with his curls gave him a hint of ‘Jon Snow’ from Game of Thrones. Maddening tingles of self-awareness filtered into Kier’s brain. He was still deeply attracted to his ex-boyfriend, and no good could come from it.

Douglas lifted his hands from Kier’s arms and tentatively cupped Kier’s red-bearded face and caressed his freckled cheeks. It was such an intimate gesture, and hot with possibilities. Kier did not flinch away—nor did he want to. He hadn’t allowed anyone to touch him with such affection in an age, and Dougie’s rough hands felt right against his skin. It was like little shocks of electricity came from Dougie’s fingertips—a Morse code of dots and dashes to communicate to his body that it needed to wake the hell up. The touches reminded him of how damn good it felt to let this man get close. Dougie was close, close enough that Kier felt his warm breath on his skin, and smelled his scent. Douglas smelled like Christmas—of apples and spice, and all things nice. Kier’s inner pup wanted to lick and sniff him. But he held back that urge. Douglas ruffled Kier’s red hair and, shaking his head in wonderment he said,

“I always loved this shade of red.” His eyes twinkled with affection. “It’s so great te see ye home safe, Freckle. I missed ye.” Douglas admitted.

“Great to see you too,” Kier’s throat tightened with emotion, and closed before he could say anymore.

“Aye, it’s been far too long,” Dougie added, and then silence fell between them as they gazed.

The immediacy of the connection between them shocked Kier. It felt so right as if there had never been the arguments, the heartbreak, and thousands of miles parting them for five whole years. Kier leaned in dragged Douglas into a fierce hug.

“Gods, I’m so sorry.” The words slipped from Kier’s lips without permission, and then he wondered what particular thing he was sorry for—there were so many apologies to make to Douglas. Sorry for breaking your heart, sorry for betraying your trust, Sorry for leaving you, sorry for cutting off all contact.

That was only the start. He’d expected that if he saw Douglas McLelland again, he would get a very icy reception—that there would be fierce glances, pinched lips, maybe a kick in the balls for good measure. Kier wondered if they’d swapped places would he be as welcoming as Douglas was to him. He felt humbled. Douglas had always been a big-hearted softie. Kier didn’t believe he deserved such kindness. He pulled out of the tight, warm embrace to see that Douglas wore a shell-shocked expression.

“I need you to know. I’m sorry too. We both behaved like numpties,” Douglas admitted regretfully, astonishing Kier.

“What do you have to be sorry for? I was the one who let you down. I was the one who walked—” No. Kier caught himself before he launched into something he could not escape. This conversation could not happen. Douglas was with someone else now, and Kier did not intend to be the wedge in that relationship. Ashamed of the intimacy he’d shared with another man’s boyfriend, Kier pulled away and turned to shut down the conversation. He strode across the room to the seating area and sat heavily on the couch. He stared into the roaring fire watching the flames dance in the breeze that came whistling down the chimney. His heart felt like a lead weight in his chest.

“What? Fer Christ’s sake, finish what ye started,” Douglas urged. He stood staring, his brows furrowed in confusion and his hands on his hips waiting for Kier to say something—anything to break the heavy confused atmosphere that had just descended. Then he tutted loudly, shook his head and muttered “Some things never fuckin’ change,” and returned to the kitchen to continue unpacking.

Kier knew he’d had a problem with talking about his feelings when they were together, and it bugged Dougie no end. He shouldn’t have left Douglas hanging. If he were brave, he would have finished what he’d started and let his feelings unravel. But it was all too hard; he’d had to stop the conversation from leading to arguments and recriminations. It was Christmas after all; he was trying to keep the peace. Douglas was with another man and rekindling his relationship with Dougie was not an option. It was not the reason that he’d returned to Scotland, was it? Kier was here for his family, and he’d planned to stay for two weeks only, and then he would go back to Australia, the stifling heat, and all those damn sheep. Kier wasn’t looking to pick up where they’d left off. There’s nothing left to pick up, Kier told himself mournfully.

Hearing the clink of glass bottles and the sharp bang of cupboard doors pulled Kier from his self-consumed mood. He stood and strode to the kitchen table and began unpacking items onto the worn timber surface so that Douglas could collect them and stow them where they belonged. They worked in silence for five minutes, the atmosphere between them fractious until everything was tidied away.

There was one final item that did not have a place in the orderly cupboards or refrigerator—a gift bag at the bottom of the final box. Kier nosed inside to see a gift-wrapped square box. He glanced over to Douglas,

“D’ye need to hide the present?” he asked.

“Oh, no. Mac would tear the place apart lookin’ for it.” Douglas said, and then, matter-of-factly he added, “I got Mac a personalized leather collar and leash set. Don’t tell him.” And he gave a conspiratorial wink.

“Oh… er, cool. I won’t.” Kier inhaled sharply and looked away. So that’s how it was. The relationship was more serious than Kier anticipated. Mac was getting a collar for Christmas, and so Kier had been replaced in every way. Dougie hadn’t just found a new sub/Dom relationship; he was still into Pup Play. Kier felt strange at hearing about the collar, in fact, it hurt. Pup Play had been their thing. He felt sick thinking of Dougie with a new man playing like they’d use to. A loud thump from upstairs startled Kier. He looked over at Douglas in alarm.

“Ahh, at last, the big lazy lump’s out of bed,” Douglas said fondly. He laughed and headed towards the stairs to unlatch the door.

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