Page 66 of Sweet Thing

When Pieter returned to the lounge, his temper had subsided a little. He gave Bast his mug of Chamomile tea and then sat on the coffee table opposite with his mug gripped protectively in both hands. Pieter silently observed Bastian for a minute and sipped his hot tea before Bastian’s sleep-worn blue eyes met his, and the man spoke.

“He said he’s in love with me?”

“Yeah, he did.”

“Scheisse”, Bastian sighed. They were yet to reach the stage of admitting love for one another in anything but jest. Bastian had wanted to say it so many times, to mean it, but it had felt like he was being untrue to Matti. In the circumstances, Bastian felt like such a fool for not being honest with Simeon and explaining how deeply he felt for him. He hadn’t wanted to scare Sim with the intensity of his need for him. This was Simeon’s first real relationship, after all. But now Bast knew that Matti was a liar and cheater, and Simeon didn’t know Bastian was in love with him. He’d made such a mess of everything.

“You know, you’re the first man he’s ever given his heart to,” Pieter said, almost accusingly.

“No, I’m the second”, Bast retorted coldly “You were the first and you didn’t want it. You will always be his first love.”

Ouch. Pieter tightened his jaw at hearing the uncomfortable truth. The men eyed one another and tension fizzed between them. Pieter wondered if Bastian was jealous of his closeness to Sim. He knew Simeon had been in love with him for a long time, and it made him uncomfortable. He’d never seen his best friend as a prospective lover. Back when they’d first met, Pieter had been at a low ebb, and Simeon hung on his every word, and, if Pieter was honest with himself, he’d been flattered by the attention. He never thought he’d given Sim the impression that they could be lovers. But that fact didn’t matter, not for Simeon. When he was using, he was determined to find pleasure where he could. He wanted what he wanted, and generally, he got it. Except for Pieter Bayer.

“I’ve made a terrible mistake,” Bastian exclaimed, his voice trembling. “This is all my fault.”

Pieter was pulled from his memories, “In what way is it your fault?” Pieter’s hackles rose. Was Bastian going to admit assaulting Simeon again? He hadn’t seen any bruises on his friend’s body, and the only damage to Sim appeared to be self-inflicted. Bastian wasn’t a violent man, but Pieter couldn’t help but jump to the worst conclusion.

“Someone, a man from the past, called me and wanted to meet up on Friday. It was supposed to be my date night with Sim. I couldn’t cope with… I told Sim I had a business meeting. I told him to leave and said I would call him, but…”

“You kicked him out?” Pieter was astonished.

“I bet he didn’t take that well.”

“I didn’t kick him out,” Bast insisted, and then surrendered. “Well, yes, I kinda did. He didn’t argue. I was expecting an argument, but… nothing.” Considering that fact, it was strange behavior. “He left as my visitor arrived”, Bastian mused, his voiced sounding detached and distant. “This man”, he continued, “My visitor told me terrible things. I’ve been in hell for days now. I… forgot… I never called Simeon. I couldn’t let him see me, not like this. I said I would call…” Bastian took a shuddering breath. “Did I break him? Is this on me?”

Pieter was trying to comprehend the babbling explanation. “Who called you on Friday? What terrible things did the man say? Bast! I wanna help, but you’re not making much sense. What the hell happened?” Pieter was worried. He’d only known Bastian for a few months, and he was aware he had emotional problems of his own. Originally, it was a romantic notion that he and Emily had created, of two broken men finding one another, fixing each other. They’d encouraged their relationship and seen how much Simeon changed over his time with Bastian. Simeon thrived having a dependable partner to rely on. Pieter enjoyed seeing his friend so happy and in love. Bastian grounded him and elevated him. He and Emily felt assured that the couple was perfect for one another, but this wreck of a man huddled on the couch was not the Bastian Roth that Pieter knew, and Simeon loved.

“Matti… and my father.” The words ripped hoarsely as they were said. Tears welled in Bastian’s eyes. He needed something stronger than Chamomile tea, but in the circumstances, unearthing the bottle of whiskey he’d hidden from Simeon behind the bookshelf seemed inappropriate.

“What about them?” Pieter’s brows narrowed in confusion.

“The man was Max, my father’s chauffeur. He disappeared after the crash that killed Matti and Hugo. The police couldn’t locate him; even Interpol couldn’t track him down. Well, he called me and said he wanted to tell me the truth about their deaths.”

“Fuck. You’ve got to be joking, right?” Pieter exclaimed.

“No joke. Three fucking years of silence and the bastard calls just when I’ve got my life back.” Bastian placed his mug on the coffee table and pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes to stem the tears. He felt like crap and needed a shower and a shave.

“Simeon and I are good together,” Bast admitted.

“He makes me happy. I never thought I would be happy again.” Bastian paused and slumped back on the couch.

“Does he know that? Did you tell him you love him?” Pieter asked.

Sorrowfully, Bastian shook his head. He wished he’d done everything differently now. “The rug was pulled from under me, Pieter. I was blindsided. He told me that my father was a closet case—Max—he told me Hugo was gay, and they’d been lovers since University”, Bast said incredulously. “Can you fucking believe that? The old bastard gave me hell when he discovered I was gay and all the time he was secretly with another man.”

Pieter’s jaw dropped, and his eyes bulged. Bastian started to laugh, and Pieter glared in horror at hearing the macabre sound, but the laughter soon desiccated into sobs. “Fuck.” Pieter’s shoulders slumped. He placed his mug down on the table and moved to sit beside Bastian. Bast leaned onto Pieter’s shoulder and cried in heart-wrenching sobs. Pieter didn’t know what to do with a man having a breakdown. His first thought was to call Emily. She always had an answer for everything. But glancing at the wall clock, Pieter could see it was 2:35 a.m, and he didn’t want to wake her or Lukas.

“Shit, Bast. I’m so sorry you got bad news,” Pieter said. “But I don’t get what this has to do with what happened with Sim.”

“They were lovers.”

“Who?”

“Matti and my father. Mattieus was cheating on me—For nine fucking months”, Bastian spat. “Max showed me. I saw with my own eyes.” It was a world-crushing betrayal.

“Holy Shit!” This was all kinds of fucked up, and Pieter could see that finding out what his dead boyfriend had been up to had paralyzed Bastian. He rubbed circles into the man’s back in the same way he did when Lukas was upset. “Does Simeon know any of this?”

Bast lifted his head from Pieter’s shoulder and wiped at his tears with the back of his bruised hand. The salty tears smarted when they touched the scrapes.

“I… no. I couldn’t. Look at me, for Christ’s sake. Who would want me like this?”

“Simeon doesn’t give a crap what you look like,” Pieter said incredulously. “I told you, he loves you. You’re his boyfriend, do you have any idea what that means for him? It’s a huge fucking step. When you were low Simeon was there for you; he wanted you to share your pain with him so he could help you ease it.”

“I know, I know. I would be lost without him”, Bast admitted. “What have I done? He’s insecure enough as it is. No wonder he thinks I’ve dumped him.” Bast cradled his head in his hands.

“You know about his personality disorder. We’ve all gotta be extra attentive to him cos his anxiety gets the better of him sometimes. He’s been going crazy, wondering why you never called him over the weekend. He’s got a right to know you’re okay. It wasn’t fair to leave him hanging.”

Pieter was right. Bastian knew now that he shouldn’t have kept everything to himself. He shouldn’t have kicked Simeon out. He shouldn’t have left him alone to stew without a word. No wonder he’d jumped to conclusions and it had been a worst case scenario. You are such a fucking idiot, Bast chided himself.

“I need to talk to him… I have to explain.” Bast said urgently. “I love him, Pieter. I couldn’t cope if I lost him.”

“Then we gotta fix this,” Pieter agreed. “Go get a shower, you stink. I’ll call for a taxi to take us to the hospital and we’ll wait until he wakes up. Okay?”

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