Page 50 of All of Us

“I’d like that. I don’t think Dusty is welcome here tonight, so I need to take him home. I live in the bunkhouse on the Circle W.”

“Let me have your phone, we can meet up in thirty minutes?”

Once we exchanged numbers and discussed where I lived, Jacob loaded up Dusty and headed toward the Circle W. I wanted—needed—to talk to Joe, but I wasn’t even sure what to say. After I talked to Jacob, I’d have a better idea about the future.

At my house, my heart still beat too hard. I hoped I wasn’t going to have some sort of cardiac event. Never had I expected this to happen, especially after I had let myself start having feelings for someone else.

My thoughts drifted to Joe. I didn’t even need to talk to him to know he was crushed. Even though Jacob was here today, I wanted to pull Joe against my chest, kiss his soft lips, and tell him we would figure it out. The truth of that hit like a brick to the sternum. Shit. For as long as I could remember, the only man I thought of was Jacob. Today, that wasn’t the case.

I opened the door, and my heart stuttered. He looked amazing, wearing all black, including a black cowboy hat that was a lot cleaner than the one he wore this afternoon.

“Fuck.”

One side of his mouth went up in a partial smile. “That’s an unexpected response, but I will take that as a good thing.”

“You look fantastic. Not going to lie, I’ve seen you in my fantasies exactly like you are now.” I blushed, knowing I had let out a secret I shouldn’t have shared.

“Come in.” I stepped back, and he entered my home. My heart fluttered some more, and I felt hot.

“Thank you. I can’t believe you are right here in front of me.” He pulled me to him, and I went easily into his arms. We held each other tight for a long time, before long our hearts beat together. It felt surreal that he was here, but we weren’t teenagers any longer; we were grown men, and I didn’t really know him anymore.

I finally pulled back, my heartbeat returning to normal. “Let’s get to know each other.” I pointed toward the living room, “Make yourself comfortable, I’ll grab us something to drink.”

In my fridge, I pulled out two hard lemonades. It was funny to me that we used to pay double for them at the corner store because we were underage. I never grew out of liking them, and here I was about to share with Jacob. I handed him one.

“Still drinking these?”

“Yeah. Never grew out of it, I guess.”

I settled into the couch, then looked at the man I had loved as a teenager. He was still as handsome as ever, but the differences between us now were more significant. “Tell me what you have been doing for the last twelve years.”

He let out a soft chuckle. I listened while he told me about being a cowboy, and his face lit up when he talked about Dusty the horse and how he raised him from a foal. Somehow, we had ended up sitting with my head on his shoulder, playing with his fingers.

It was wonderful to hear he had found his place in the world. He had been happy but lonely. I recognized the pain because I had seen it in the mirror for years. Sitting like this with him felt natural, like a piece I had lost was found.

As the evening wore on, we would reposition and cuddle, sometimes holding hands, sometimes his hand was on my thigh, and sometimes my head was on his shoulder. It was a quiet comfort, a familiarity that had lasted even though we hadn’t been together. He was my first, and there were other men in between, but there had only been one other that touched my heart.

Around 3:00 a.m., I picked up my phone.

DUSTY

I’m going to need the day off.

I didn’t need to ask Montgomery for time off. During the years I worked for him, I took only a few days off. Usually, I worked twenty-four-seven, and this was rare. I decided to include another message.

DUSTY

Can you tell Joe we will talk soon?

He matters to me.

I knew he wouldn’t respond until morning, but I needed to sleep. Jacob walked out of my bathroom wearing a t-shirt and his boxer briefs. I allowed myself to look him over, and my body noticed he was all grown up. I pulled out some sheets and a pillow from the hall closet and handed them to him.

“I’m not working today. Is there any way we can spend it together?” I asked him before going to my room.

He smiled at me. “I’d like that.” He picked up his phone, and I assumed it was to text his boss.

I turned toward my room, then stopped and looked at this man whom I still loved in so many ways. “Jacob?”