Page 95 of Dreams and Reptiles

Dianne was humoring us, but I could see the beads of sweat in her hairline. She’d gone above and beyond her duties today. I’d for sure be making a hefty donation to her church in thanks.

She said some lovely words to bless the rings, and we took turns sliding them on each other’s fingers.

“I know, it’s huge. We’ll get it sized.”

“It’s fine. Shh. Please, Dianne, continue.”

She laughed and wiped at her forehead with her own handkerchief.

“Hey, can someone get Dianne some water, please?” I called out. A second later, Roger bounded up the steps and handed her a cold bottle of water.

She thanked him and said, “Let’s continue, shall we?”

I held the ring tight against my finger, terrified I’d drop it, while she continued on about sickness and health and in good times and bad, yada yada. Then she got to the most important part.

“Francis, do you take this man⁠—”

“Yes! Yes I do.”

She sighed and shook her head.

“Kendall?”

“Absolutely. To be my person for the rest of my life.”

And now I was crying for real.

“Wonderful,” she said with a smile of exasperation. “By the power vested in me by the Universal Life Church, I now pronounce you… what was it? Husbands and Persons.”

And do you know? I climbed my fireman in front of all those people. I jumped into his arms and held on tight while he kissed me with so much passion, my toes curled in my dress shoes.

“I love you, baby,” he said against my lips.

“I love you, too, but now we have to entertain these people for the next few hours? Are you kidding me?”

He squeezed me tight as he laughed. “I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

I slid down his body and held his chin in my hand. “You will. I know you will.”

I took the ring off the correct finger and slid it onto my thumb, where it fit snugly, and I knew it wouldn’t go flying off.

“Guests, thank you so much. And now, I would love to invite you all to enter the tent, where we’ll eat, drink, and be merry. The Deevers family would like to thank you for coming, and they ask that you please enjoy the lovely buffet.”

People stood and hugged each other, chatting excitedly.

“This is sure to be the event of the season in good ol’ Frosted Bagel,” I said with a satisfied grin, as Kendall wrapped his arms around me from behind.

“You did it, baby.”

“No, you did it. This really pushed me past the level of bananapantsery that I thought I could handle.”

“It turned out perfect for everyone,” he said. But at that moment, I caught sight of my mother and father talking to each other next to the pool.

“Not quite.” I pointed in their direction. “Do you mind?”

“Of course not.”

He led me down the steps, and we walked toward my parents, who were having a serious discussion.