Page 79 of Dreams and Reptiles

“That’s sweet, Arnie. I’m still paying.”

He rolled his eyes, but he accepted my card. When he looked back at me, he had that “I want to ask you a question, but I don’t know if I should” thing going on.

“I haven’t talked to my cousin,” I said softly, offering him a smile.

He nodded sadly. “Thanks, Francis.”

“Give him some time. He really likes you both. I’m pulling for you guys.”

That brightened his smile, and he thanked me again.

I walked back to the table. “Do you need a minute?”

Shay looked up at me. “I’m sorry, Francis. I promise, I’m not always this much of a drama queen.”

“Oh, please. I am, so don’t worry at all about me. How about we go back to my place? I’ve got so much ice cream.”

That got her laughing.

Kendall’s smile was full of relief.

CHAPTER

EIGHTEEN

Kendall

I drove us back to Francis’s house, and he offered to take Shay inside, as he knew I needed to do my evening check of the crew. I dropped them in front of his house, assuring him I’d be right back. I parked in my driveway and sat there for a moment, just collecting my thoughts that had been blown apart by the scene at the table.

Boom, indeed.

It was hard to know how delicately to handle the situation with Shay. In my limited parenting experience, I knew that it was my job to be supportive but firm, understanding with boundaries in place. I read the parenting books when the kids were little. I did the best I could. But my absence, Susan’s frustration, it all impacted the kids. When we separated, Shay was fifteen and at the tail end of the puberty journey. The people I trusted with our situation said I needed to be patient, attentive, and clear that the issues were between Susan and me, that Shay and Tyson were still my babies.

Tyson kept that shit locked up tight. Kinda like me. He smiled and went along, living his life as a teenager. Probably partying too hard. Definitely having more sex than I did at his age. We bickered, but he was respectful, especially to Susan. The kids lived with her during those three years we were separated and visited me whenever I had a break in shifts, or I’d come over to Susan’s and bring dinner. Shay needed more support when Tyson joined the Navy—something else that was my fault, apparently—and again when Dad moved in with me.

Then Tyson was gone.

Shay fell apart. She’d felt like he was the only one who understood what she was going through, that we couldn’t possibly, and she was so full of rage. Counseling eventually helped, and antidepressants helped her function, but his death knocked her for a loop. Understandably. It did for all of us, but I had so much on my plate, I hadn’t been able to sit in my grief and marinate in it like she and Susan did. Then Susan filed for divorce, and I was alone.

I thought about calling Susan, but I figured that if Shay wanted to handle things on her own, I’d deal directly with her. She was old enough that I didn’t need to discuss parenting decisions with her mother any longer.

Shay had expressed interest in moving to California multiple times. How would that be? Could we live together, have our own lives, or would she become the next person I had to take care of?

I’d do it. She was my daughter. But I would be doing her a disservice if I didn’t treat her like an adult, a capable one who could handle a job and her business.

I ran scenarios through my head while I fed my crew and checked everyone’s enclosures. The tortoises all needed fresh water, so that took a while. By the time I started up the walk to Francis’s place, I was resolute in my decision to have a frank discussion with Shay, to outline my expectations for her stay. I girded my loins as I opened the slider⁠—

And found my people laughing and singing over empty bowls of ice cream.

Leave it to Francis to make everything better.

“Did you save me any ice cream?” I opened my arms to hug Shay, and she squeezed me tight.

“I’m sorry, Dad. I didn’t mean to come here and dump all my problems on you.”

“Well, you didn’t dump them on me. You let me know what’s going on, and I’m happy to discuss options with you. I can’t fix it all, nor do I think you want me to, but I’m ready to talk about it with you whenever you’re ready.”

She tilted her chin up and gazed at me with those familiar blue eyes. I struggled to ever say no to her, especially after we lost Tyson. The Warren genes were strong in my kids.