Page 46 of Dreams and Reptiles

“Are you okay?”

He nodded, frowning in concentration. “Every time it pokes its head out, I move the broom around, and it ducks back under the washer. I don’t want it out in the middle of the party.” He glanced at me. “Jesus, those pants. You’re a dish, darling. I’m glad you’re here.” He stuck his cheek out my way and tapped it for a kiss.

I was glad to oblige. “Your auntie said the snake didn’t make any noise?”

“No, it’s not a rattlesnake. It’s got bands, not stripes? I don’t think it’s a bad one, but any snake inside my house is not my friend. We can be friends once he’s outside or behind glass or something. Kendall, I promised my mom not too much nature, and we’re dangerously close to too much nature.”

“Okay. It’s going to be okay.”

He really was being so brave, ready to sacrifice himself for his guests. For all he knew it was a poisonous snake.

“Let’s see what we’ve got. Here, hop on my back. I’m going to sit you over on the counter, okay? I’ll use that bucket to catch him and let him go outside.”

He nodded, his eyes never leaving the space under the washer. “I can do that.”

I stood before him, and he climbed on carefully, still holding the broom in one hand. I loved the feel of his muscular thighs in my hands, but I couldn’t get distracted.

“Want to hand that to me?” I asked.

“How will I protect you?”

Be still my heart.

“I got this, baby.”

“I’m so glad you’re here,” he said, kissing behind my ear. “I’ve been so anxious all day.”

“I’m so damn sorry I’m late⁠—”

“No, you’re fine. I just couldn’t wait to see you.”

“God, same.” I carried him across the room and sat him on the counter next to the washer, and he scrambled backward. “This shouldn’t be too bad. I’m just going to move the washer and see if I can get him to come out. You said there’s a drain without a cover?”

“Yeah, behind the washer. I was going to have Miguel fix it, but there were other, more pressing things when he was here, like making sure that damned toilet doesn’t turn into Niagara Falls again.”

“Right. Here we go.”

I backed up, picked up the bucket, and sat it on the counter next to him.

“Be careful,” he said to me, touching my forearm.

“It’s okay. Where are you, little buddy?”

“Uh-uh, little buddy is Tony Curtis, not this guy.”

I chuckled as I gripped the washing machine and bent my knees. Thankfully this room was big and had a leveled concrete floor. “This shouldn’t scratch the floor, but if it does, I’ll fix it.”

“Who cares if it gets scratched? Lives are at stake. If you catch this snake, I’m so rewarding you tonight.”

“Baby, you’re distracting me.” I turned and winked at him.

I pulled the washer to the side, and sure enough…

“Look at you, handsome.” I reached for the bucket, took the lid off, and moved closer to the snake, who was probably a little stunned. “Francis, meet the California kingsnake. He’s not harmful at all. Come on, little guy, I gotcha.”

He was moving pretty slow, so I grabbed him behind the head and around the middle.

“Ohmygoshness you’re just… you just picked him up? Kendall!” He grabbed for the bucket, but I shook my head.