Page 178 of Sands of Atonement

Fuck, that hurt. I felt old, and Eshe didn’t hesitate to remind me of that.

“Say that again?” she hissed as she stumbled back onto the ground near me.

“I said that your right leg needs more work if this is going to work. I can immediately tell you’re slower when you lunge with that leg. You need both.” I spat some sand and blood out of my mouth. My ribs were bruised, and I was getting tired of this training. Deep down, I didn’t enjoy my training. I forced myself to do so through sheer will and dedication.

But Eshe always got what she wanted.

The Atrove was quick to agree with the new law, allowing Atrovians to have families, but Eshe becoming one of us? That was a whole other story. Eshe refused to be a part of it, demanding that she didn’t want to be without me and held the fact that she saved my life over my head one too many times. What the Atrove did agree upon was that Eshe needed the same training we all got and completed it with flying colors.

The problem: the training she was given in Mongah with Garamgai was different. Very different from ours. Still worked, but wasn’t going to pass any standards by the Atrove.

Regardless, I was the perfect trainer for her as the leader of the Atrove. I wasn’t going to let any other man do so either.

“I have been exercising it relentlessly. It’s going to take time.” She jumped to her feet. She gave me a lending hand, and I accepted it only to receive her fist pummeling into my core. I doubled over just before I flung her body against my chest. Her panting against me was a turn-on I learned pretty quickly.

“You’re so fucking small I could break you in half,” I grunted in her ear, her jasmine scent wafting through the air.

“Don’t tempt me with a good time. You already did last night.” She smirked.

I nipped the bottom of her ear, remembering clearly how I did just that.

“Are you nervous about tomorrow?” she asked as she turned around in my arms, facing me.

I frowned. “Why would I be nervous?”

“A life forever with me? Sounds like a lot of work?” She gave a breathy chuckle, but there was a twinkle in her gray, moon-like eyes that left me in awe.

“That decision doesn’t start tomorrow, my little warrior. It started a long time ago, and I had already made it. What about you, hmm? Any second thoughts about our wedding?”

She smiled and shook her head slightly. “I’d never have second thoughts about you.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” I nipped her crinkled-up nose while she bit my lip. We both let out a small laugh before picking up our supplies. God, I had fun with her. She was the only person I wanted to spend my time with, the person I wanted to see to start my day and end my day with her in my arms. Any time something was worth mentioning, I thought of her. I wanted to be around her every moment.

The sun was just rising for the day, and we had some preparations to get through before our wedding tomorrow.

“Sad to see your harem go?” She raised an eyebrow at me.

I let out a laugh. “I forgot it was there, but I’m glad I don’t need to hide the fact that I have no use for it. Though I did find them all suitable husbands. They were more than happy with their new arrangement.”

“Good, they deserve that. They deserve some love.” Eshe winked at me.

I gave her a chuckle. “They do.” I placed my arm over her shoulder and pulled her to my side, kissing the top of her head as we walked out the gate of our private arena.

“You mentioned a long time ago that there were three moments you had lost control. One of them was when Kavid was taking me back. When were the other two?” she asked, her hand tucked into mine as we walked through the palace.

My chest tightened uncomfortably, but I gazed ahead. “The first was when you came barreling into my consciousness and chose Casimir over me. I couldn’t control the feeling that erupted from within me. I couldn’t control who you chose. I couldn’t control that it would be me. I went mad.” Just thinking about it caused me a short moment of blinding insanity. “And the second was the night of the explosion. When you were lost to me.”

She squeezed my hand, and I pulled her into my arms. I kissed the top of her head, grateful that she was here and alive.

“Picking Casimir was the only way I felt control over you—or so I thought at sixteen.”

I laughed. “Makes sense. I no longer had it. It was yours.”

As soon as we reached our private quarters, I grabbed my daily dose of poison and swung it to the back of my throat. I swallowed the sweet taste.

“Is there really a risk each time you do it?” Eshe asked from behind my shoulder.

I shrugged. “A small one.”