Page 68 of The Sasquatch and the Hairdresser

Elvira flops down at our feet and rests her three heads between her paws as she settles in for another nap.

“So much has happened in such a short amount of time. I can hardly believe it myself.”

I quickly give him a rundown of everything that’s been going on—from intoxicated gnomes to singing apples to Skylar asking me out and us being boyfriends to Elvira becoming part of our lives.

It’s a lot.

When I reach the end, Ryder blinks at me owlishly from behind his glasses. “Holy shit, man. That’s bananas. Now, while I do have many questions about gnome anatomy—because how haven’t I written a gnome romance yet?—first and foremost, I should say congratulations. On getting together with Skylar, that is.”

“Thanks. I’m trying not to pinch myself every few minutes to see if I’m dreaming.”

“Don’t worry. I’m sure the reality of it all will sink in before too long. In the meantime, enjoy this early period of newfound love.”

I wince. “Well, although I’m head over heels for him, I’m not sure where exactly he’s at.”

Neither of us has actually said the words to each other, either. Even though I really want to tell him exactly how I feel.

“Is there a need to rush?” Ryder asks. “Taking it slow isn’t a bad thing. In fact, slow and steady is kind of your signature style, Hal. Be true to yourself. He likes you for who you are, so lead with that.”

“I know you’re right, and we are taking it slow, but I can’t exactly put the brakes on my emotions. They have a mind of their own and are charging full speed ahead.”

Ryder gives me a commiserating look. “That’s tough. I had similar problems when Vash and I started hooking up, although I tried to ignore them at first. Catching feelings can happen whether you want it to or not and whether you’re ready for them or not.”

“See, this is why I need your wisdom. You’re basically my only reliable relationship guru I can talk to.”

Ryder lets out a sharp bark of laughter. “While I appreciate your belief in my knowledge on such matters, I freely admit that I am no expert. Vash is the first serious and functional romantic relationship I’ve ever had. Everything else was pretty much friends with benefits.” Ryder stops for a minute. “Maybe not even really friends.”

I groan and rub a hand over my face. “Well, that’s still more experience than I have. Sure, I’ve dated a bit, but Skylar’s my first serious relationship. And from what he’s shared about his past, I kind of think I’m his first healthy one, at least.”

“Touché, mon ami,” Ryder says dryly.

He leans forward, eyes unblinking and focus unwavering in that intense way he can get. “Lay it on me, and I shall endeavor to offer sensible advice.”

I squirm under his slightly intrusive gaze. I refuse to divulge any details of Skylar’s history, not without his permission, so I opt to be as general as possible.

“Skylar’s last relationship ended badly, and from what he’s told me, he didn’t have the best experiences in the romance department even before that.”

“People can be total and complete assholes,” Ryder says. “Sucks that he’s been screwed over by more than one.”

“Definitely. He’s been hurt. Badly. And I don’t like it.”

“Hmm,” Ryder muses. “That’s perfectly understandable. I’ve done research on this for my books before. Psychology is a fascinating field of study and learning what drives us and our behavior can generate beneficial insights. Across species, most beings have strong emotions when those they love are hurt, especially by others. It can spark intense reactions, rage being a common one.”

“It’s a new and unpleasant feeling for me. I’d never experienced a desire to commit violence until Skylar told me what happened to him.”

Ryder’s eyes widen. “Well, shit. I didn’t know you had it in you, Hal.”

My shoulders slump. “Neither did I.”

“Most people have darker thoughts from time to time, but we don’t act on them, and I know you won’t either.”

I nod. “You know I’m a pacifist through and through. Most sasquatches are. The only exception is when our mates or offspring are in danger, then we will fight to keep them safe.”

Ryder whips out his ever-present notebook and jots down something before turning his attention back to me. “It sounds like a kind of natural protective instinct among your species, then. Just one you haven’t experienced before.”

I frown. “Maybe, and it’s confusing. I can’t say I like it, but I also just have this frustrated wish that I could have met Skylar sooner and prevented him being hurt.”

Ryder grins like the Cheshire Cat and it’s rather unnerving. “Mwahahahaha! Welcome to the club, my friend. Glad you could finally join us. Love makes you do and feel strange things. It’s awesome and a bit awful all at the same time.”