Page 61 of The Sasquatch and the Hairdresser

“Aww. She’s real cute,” Skylar says, a soft smile playing on his face. “I always wanted a dog when I was a kid but could never have one.”

And just like that, I realize we’re going home with this hellhound puppy no matter what. I mean, of course I was going to take care of her anyway, even if that meant simply fostering her for a while. I’d already considered seeing if she might integrate into Targan and Max’s household. After all, they have a hellhound of their own, Waffles.

But seeing the pure joy in Skylar’s eyes makes me want nothing more than to give him what he couldn’t have when he was young. If I’m honest, I want to give him everything he ever wishes for. Lucky for me, what he wants is pretty closely aligned with what I’ve always wanted.

Love. Family. Home.

I peer down at the pup. Perhaps this is the universe guiding me down an important path once again?

My gaze shifts back to Skylar. “Will you… help me take care of her?”

His smile goes supernova bright. “Absofuckinglutely!”

My body goes warm and fuzzy all over. Dear Goddess, how I love this man. I want to spend my life making him this blissfully happy.

“Well, this is a beautiful and far less dangerous finale to this clusterfuck of an evening than I was anticipating,” Astraea says, sniffling as she smiles at us. “You two kids are becoming so fun to watch these days.”

I blush and Skylar runs a hand through his hair in that self-conscious way he does.

“You really need to give this sweet girl a name if you’re going to take her in, darlings,” Kassiel offers cheerily.

I blink wide-eyed at Skylar. “What should we call her?”

Skylar gapes at me. “You want me to help name her?”

I nod a little shyly. “If we’re going to be raising her together, I think we should also choose her name together.”

That’s right, we’re totally going to be penguin dads raising our very own… hellhound. Wait until I tell my forum pals about this!

He cups his chin, deep in thought. “We gotta come up with something good, something fitting for such a brave girl who literally came to us from another dimension.” His eyes go comically wide and he lets out a sudden bark of laughter. “Oh my fucking god, I’ve got the answer. We should call her Elvira. You know, like Elvira, Mistress of the Dark!”

“Now that’s inspired,” Kassiel says.

“Who?” I ask, bewildered.

Skylar gasps in disbelief. “Don’t tell me you never saw that show, Elvira’s Movie Macabre.”

I shake my head slowly. “Can’t say that I have.”

Kassiel waves a hand in the air. “My dearest Yuki is quite the fan of hers.”

Skylar beams. “Oh, it was great. Even though I’m not a fan of hardcore horror, I love the cheesy sci-fi and low-budget horror movies from the fifties. Plus, Elvira was hilarious. She’d introduce the movies and interrupt them with comments and jokes too.”

Kassiel nods along. “It really is quite entertaining to watch.”

Baxter frowns. “What, like Mystery Science Theater 3000?”

I frown. I have no idea what he’s talking about either.

“Kind of,” Skylar says. “But Elvira’s the only host. She always vamped it up, wore tight black dresses and an outrageous black wig. I loved how committed she was to that character. Plus, the lady who played Elvira is a lesbian, which makes her even fucking cooler in my book.” He grins at Astraea. “You’d probably dig her big time.”

Astraea’s eyes glint with interest. “Sounds like I’ll have to check that out once all this magical fuckery has been resolved.”

Skylar claps his hands together decisively. “Okay, Hal. You know what this means, right? We gotta start doing movie date nights at home. I can introduce you to some Elvira episodes and all kinds of stuff my grandma and I used to watch together. Whaddya think?”

My internal squee alarm goes off, and a wave of giddiness washes over me. Skylar somehow knows the deepest desires of my heart without me having to tell him.

“I’ve always wanted to have movie dates at home with someone,” I whisper. “Ooh! And I can make themed snacks for us to enjoy while we watch.”