Page 51 of The Sasquatch and the Hairdresser

SuperShySasquatch: Wish me well in wooing my one and only.

Hal

Itook the initiative for once and am now holding Skylar’s hand. In public. My boyfriend’s hand.

Also, I am trying not to hyperventilate.

Truthfully, I was beginning to despair that a day like this would ever come. Even though I had held on to hope, it was dwindling hope before Skylar came into my life. I had already begun mentally preparing myself to be alone for the rest of my days. My life would have still been fulfilling, with purpose and meaning, but now I realize that having Skylar at my side makes it so much richer.

My heart is unwavering in its certainty that Skylar’s the one, but I don’t want to scare him with that revelation quite yet. I need to give his feelings time to hopefully catch up with mine. Until then, I plan on enjoying the journey with him.

“So tell me more about this bar we’re going to,” Skylar says.

“It’s very popular. The owner, Akram, is a bit mysterious but a dependable guy. He’s even offering a signature Harvest Festival cocktail and mocktail at a discounted price all weekend.”

Skylar considers that. “I should talk to him and see if he has any insights from running the bar here. Any insider info I can get on how to appeal to folks is golden.”

“I’m sure he’d be happy to discuss it with you. He doesn’t tend to share a lot about his personal life, but he’s always willing to talk business. So is Kassiel, one of my colleagues on the Harvest Festival planning committee. You’ll get to meet him at our session tomorrow.”

“Awesome.” He flashes me a blinding smile that sends my heart racing and the butterflies in my stomach fluttering.

We walk in awkward silence and I revert to bumbling teenagerhood all over again, running a hand through my beard and clearing my throat, hoping the hearts in my eyes aren’t way too obvious.

Skylar shoves his free hand in his jacket pocket and pulls out a lozenge, then unwraps it—one-handed! My boyfriend is James Dean-level cool—and pops it in his mouth. I can’t help but smile. I know quitting smoking has been hard for him, but I’ve been doing everything in my power to help, and I’m impressed with how well he’s been doing, considering the stress of opening a new business.

Keeping Skylar healthy and happy is one of my new missions in life.

It’s a quieter night than usual as we turn onto an empty Main Street and walk past silent, dark storefronts. A strange hush has fallen over Mystic Hollow.

I suspect many folks went home to ruminate after the meeting. The news is understandably worrying, but Baxter and Astraea ended on a somewhat optimistic note, so I’m hopeful that most folks will decide to stay.

When we arrive at our destination, I open the heavy door and gesture Skylar to go in ahead of me. The bar is housed in a rather ordinary brick building that doesn’t seem particularly special. However, on the inside, it’s another story.

Stepping into Akram’s Oasis is a true feast for the senses. Stunning mosaic lanterns hang from the ceiling and refract soft lighting, painted tapestries in deep gold line the walls, and colorful pillows and cushions accent the cozy nooks and intimate booths designed to let patrons linger all night long. Altogether, it creates an intimate, almost romantic vibe.

As my eyes rove over the room, they’re assaulted by small, naked bodies with long beards, and I do a double take. A motley crew of drinking naked gnomes are celebrating at one of the tables in the back.

Thank goodness no one under twenty-one can enter the premises.

“Oi!” Akram shouts from behind the bar, where he’s cleaning glasses. “Keep your naked bits off my cushions.”

The gnomes raise their glasses and cheer before breaking into what sounds like a garden-themed version of a sea chantey set to the tune of “Wellerman.”

There once was a garden full of weeds

The plants did freely spread their seeds

The gnomes did dance, round and round

O prance my good friends, prance!

Long may our brethren roam,

’Tis blessed to be a naked gnome

One day when the clothing is gone

Liberation will come!