Page 34 of Knot Her Beta

I wait, having laid bare everything we’ve been circling around for months. That wasn’t fantasy in my imagination. I’ve seen the way he watches me, and whatever is pulling him away, it won’t be a misunderstanding about my desires.

He exhales through his nose, a long, slow breath that betrays the burden he’s been carrying for months, maybe longer.“It’s not that I don’t feel this thing building between us. That’s not why I’m leaving.”

I keep my arms loose at my sides to stop myself from reaching for him again. If I thought reassurances would solve this, I wouldn’t hesitate, but this runs deeper.

“My family is back east, and they need me.” He swallows hard. “Staying here was never supposed to be permanent, and there are consequences for not going back that are larger than just... wanting something else.”

His eyes lift to mine, then drop. The flush has faded from his cheeks, leaving behind a pallor that I want to wipe away.

“What does ‘needs you’ actually mean?” I ask.

His mouth twists. “A business I’m supposed to take over. Family expectations. Obligation. Money.”

He moves to stand in the kitchen and leans on the counter to give his bad leg some relief.

“They have a vision for what my life should be. Who I should be with. Where I should live. What I should do with my days.” A short, humorless sound escapes him. “And the worst part is, they’re not wrong about everything. Some of it is reasonable. On paper.”

I take in the tightness around his mouth and the way his jaw works, as if he’s chewing on a bitter truth.

“I could walk away.” His glasses have slipped down his nose a fraction, and he doesn’t push them back up. “I know I could. But walking away means burning bridges I might need someday. It means disappointing parents who have given me everything, even if it came with strings attached.”

His fingers curl on the quartz countertop. “It means looking my father in the eye and telling him the future he’s built for me isn’t the one I want, and watching him try to understand why and failing, because to him, it’s perfect. It’s everything.”

The light through the windows dims, the gray deepening toward dusk. Outside, the trees have gone dark against the sky, branches black and sharp.

I understand struggling under the pressure of other people’s expectations, of giving away your life to keep others happy. It breaks you down and leaves you miserable when life should be about joy.

I don’t want that for Grady.

“I can’t offer you money, but you’ve never struck me as someone who needed a lot. And I can’t solve the problems with your parents’ expectations, but I can give you a home, with a roof over your head and warm meals on the table. I can offer you the space to decide what brings you happiness long term.”

He hangs his head. “You know this last year has been rough. I’ve never been less than capable⁠—”

“You’re still capable,” I cut in, unwilling to stand for anyone talking bad about Grady, not even himself. “You’re one of the most capable and down-to-earth people I’ve ever known.”

He gives me a sad smile. “I appreciate you saying that, but I have to accept that this is as good as things are going to get for me, and as I get older, it’s going to go downhill. And I never want to be a burden.”

“If you’re staying away because you think you’re not worth wanting,” I growl, “that’s not a reason I’ll let stand.”

His head comes up in surprise.

“You’re not a burden, and you’re not broken. You’re fierce and protective of your chosen people, and anyone would be proud to stand at your side.”

His eyes brighten, and he turns away, blinking quickly.

“I’m not asking you to choose me over your parents.” I shake my head. “That’s not what this is. Choosing between people who love you and people who want you… That’s a shitty choice, and I won’t put you in that position.”

I take a breath of the chilly air in the cabin, the warmth of the day gone, and it stings my lungs.

“But if the reason you’re walking away is because you think wanting you is a mistake I’ll regret, or a burden I’m not prepared to carry, or something you don’t deserve to have, then you’re wrong. And I’m not going to pretend otherwise just to ease your conscience.”

His throat works, and he swipes at his cheeks before turning back to me. “It’s not that I don’t want this. You have to know that. You are an amazing woman, and I don’t know what I did that earned me your attention, but I’m thankful for it.”

The but hangs in the air before he even speaks it.

“Wanting to stay and choosing to stay are two different things, though.” He studies the counter beneath his hand rather than me. “And I need to face my parents before I can decide. And it’s not because of the money, please don’t ever think that. But if I don’t go back, they’ll cut me out completely, and I’m not sure I’m ready to lose them.”

“Okay.” I step closer, pulling him back into my arms for a hug. “I understand.”