Page 12 of Knot Her Beta

Leif’s fingers brush the back of my hand, sending a sizzle of heat up my arm. “Jared’s looking for you. Thank you again for coming.”

Grateful for the out, I take it. “I should go find him.”

As Leif goes, my fingers curl into my palms. The ache isn’t sharp, but it’s a constant, dull throb that’s existed since the day he left, and being in the same room again has only strengthened it.

This is what I gave up. Not just the possibility of him, but the certainty of him.

And standing here now, watching him move through the party with the easy confidence of someone who belongs, I can’t help wondering if I made the right call when I let him go.

I exhale slowly as I turn to find Jared, but it’s Chloe who snags my attention as Dominic helps her up off the sofa, one hand supporting her belly.

My hand moves to my flat stomach, muscular from years of hard labor. I used to dream of having a pup, but Auren always claimed to be too delicate to spend my Ruts with me. He hadn’t wanted to be locked during his Heats, either, and we were never in a financial place to raise a pup.

When I offered to carry the pup, his rejections had turned to how it wouldn’t work, how it couldn’t work, how I was setting myself up for a pregnancy my body wouldn’t give me.

Alphas don’t carry, he’d said, honey-sweet even as the words cut. That’s not how it works. Female Alphas are practically sterile.

Then, when I did the research and found the cases, it had become, Do you know how humiliating it would be for me, your Omega? Is that what you want? To make me the laughingstock?

Piece by piece, he had eaten away at my dreams until wanting to be a mother felt unrealistic. Selfish.

Impossible.

And I’d believed him. I’d internalized it, made it part of my understanding of myself, that certain doors were closed, not because I’d chosen a different path, but because they’d never been options in the first place.

I haven’t spoken to Auren since dropping him off at Safe Harbor House, the Omega house for those who need help, and I didn’t look back. It had taken all my willpower and Jared’s support to not call to check on him, to not reach out to ensure he was okay.

But leaving him behind didn’t get him out of my head.

“You’re thinking too hard,” a voice says beside me, pulling me back to the present. “Your face gets this little line right here.”

Jared touches the space between my eyebrows with one finger, his expression concerned.

I force my features to relax. “Just zoning out. It’s been a long week.”

He studies me for a moment, head tilted. “It‘s not the resort. Tell me what’s wrong. Did Leif⁠—”

“No, not that.” Well, not entirely. “It’s...old stuff creeping back in.”

“Old stuff with...” He tilts his head in the direction Leif went.

I shake my head. “Long before Leif.”

Understanding dawns. “Auren.”

It’s not a question, but I respond. “Yeah.”

He moves a half-step closer and cups my elbows, keeping my attention on him. “You know, it’s okay to want things, even if you thought you’d stopped.”

My breath hitches. “It’s not that simple.”

“It can be,” he says, tugging me forward until my breasts brush his chest. “If you let it.”

Around us, the others are heading toward the large dining table set next to the kitchen, but Jared ignores everyone else to focus on me.

Self-consciously, my eyes drift to Chloe as she waffles past, and yearning fills me.

“We can make one.”