Page 97 of Dirty Chorus

For a second, I can’t breathe. His words blur in my ears. Payton, Ryder. Together. No, he’s lying. He has to be. They would have told me. “Go ahead. See for yourself.”

Something hot surges through me. I can’t put a thumb on it – anger, betrayal, maybe both. Or I’m just going insane. I don’t know what it is, but I feel hot and heavy everywhere. I throw my drink onto the patio, liquid splashing everywhere, and push past him. The crowd blurs around me as I storm down the hallway, every heartbeat thudding against my ribs. I reach the door and press my ear against it. I hear it, the moans and grunts from someone on the other side.

I have no choice. I bang on the door with a hard fist, hard enough that my hand stings.

Chapter 45

Noah

Bang. Bang. Bang.

Each strike was relentless against the door. I’m groggy as hell as I fumble for my phone. It unhooks from the charger with a loud thud as it hits the floor. “What the hell.” I groan, patting the floorboard until I find it. I squint the second the bright screen incinerates my eyes. It’s midnight. Bang. Bang. Bang. I kick the sheets and comforter off and pull the string on the lamp on the nightstand.

I throw open my bedroom door, running a thumb and index finger into my eyes, cleaning out the presents the sandman left me. Gramps is stumbling out of his bedroom, using a cane to support his weight.

“Dag-nabbit, you got another one of them girls obsessing over you!” He points a finger at me.

I reach the door, peering through the peephole. It’s Charlie. Her silhouette is trembling. It’s been several days since bingo night, and I’ve ignored her text messages. I wanted to tell her I haven’t slept since, that I can’t stop thinking about her, but I couldn’t bring myself to. I unlock the deadbolt, yanking the door open, and she practically collapses into my arms, a blubbery mess of sobs, her wet face lined with soaked hair sticking to her cheeks.

“What’s wrong?” I wrap an arm around her as she digs her fingers into my bare skin.

“Why... why won't you...” She shudders in a breath before a pool of tears tumbles down her cheeks. “Why? Why didn’t you... why didn’t you tell me?”

“Charlie...”

“No... you said... you said!”

“Come on.” I let her inside, shutting and locking the door against the chilly night air.

“Ain’t nobody getting sleep tonight.” Gramps lifts the cane to the kitchen light, letting it flicker on. “I’m making tea.” He grasps the teapot and fills it with water from the sink.

“Charlie, breathe.” I guide her to the couch, and her face falls into her hands. The tea kettle scrapes against the gas stove, and it clicks as Gramps lights it up.

“You...you dumped me... and you... you got signed!” I stay quiet and swallow hard, waiting for her to continue. “I...I found out through your Instagram.”

I rub her forearms and I’m attentive to every word because it’s pulling me apart too. She sucks in another ragged breath. “Why... Why does everyone hurt me?” Tears fill her bloodshot eyes, and she slams them shut.

“I’m not trying to.” I squeeze her forearms a bit, rubbing my thumbs along her soft skin.

“But you are!” she shouts. Her voice slices through the room, and then her phone rings. It cuts through the quiet room, vibrating in her purse. Charlie’s chest hitches as she digs into her purse, pulling out her phone. She answers and presses it to her ear.

“Mom?” her voice breaks. “Why are you call...” I watch as she visibly swallows, her eyes shaking.

There is crying on the other end. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for everything. All of it.”

“What...what are you talking about?” Within an instant her face drains of color.

“I tried,” her mom says, crying harder now. “God, I tried to be a good mom. I really did.” She lets out a weak laugh and a sound that doesn’t belong anywhere near humor. “I just wanted you to know I love you. None of this is your fault.”

“Mom...” Charlie’s fingers tremble barely being able to hold the phone to her ears.

“I made a mistake,” her mothers voice whispers. “I took some... I took some pills. All of them actually.”

My heart tanks to the bottomless pit of hell where the devil wants me. My chest constricts as Charlie clutches her shirt like she can’t breathe. I cover my mouth with a hand, almost wanting to vomit. Her blubbery tears mirror my own.

“I ruined everything. I fucked up my marriage, and your father did nothing but cheat on me. Hit me. Yell at me. He never wanted you or Ryder. He wanted me to get rid of you both. I can hear him now... just get rid of it... like you two meant nothing.”

“Mom... mom...”