Page 81 of Dirty Chorus

Omen: Fuck yeah, you outside?

Noah: I’m in the truck.

Omen: Give me a minute and I’ll be right out.

Chapter 36

Charlie

Itried texting Noah, but he won’t text me back, even though the messages are read seconds after sending them. It’s like dealing with Brody all over again. Being ignored and dismissed. I can’t stomach it. My chest is being wrung like a moldy sponge. I thought we worked it out, but he's still avoiding me. What the hell did I do wrong?

Ryder is shuffling totes and boxes in his room. I lay in bed in my pajamas and pink slippers for an hour watching the blades of my fan spin in circles. Waking up this morning, I felt unbothered, but now the hangover is sinking into my bloodstream, and my stomach is churning with bile. When I glance at the phone again, it’s seeping into my bloodstream. I’m pathetic and desperate. It’s like shouting outside into the thin air, and it’s only your voice echoing back. No one else is there. His rejection is slowly starving me, and there's nothing else to bite into.

It sucks even more that Payton left early this morning because her mom is having some sort of tantrum about staying over here for too long.

The screen door slams shut, and heels slap along the floorboards. “Hey,” that valley girl voice makes me cringe at the sound. Gross, it’s Brittni. If I hear her voice one more time, I’m going to force myself to puke. “You said you found a few things of mine.” I overheard her through the wall.

“It’s in the box,” Ryder’s voice is muted as I sit up. I crawl off my squeaky mattress and kneel down to the vent on the floor that connects both of our rooms.

“Can we talk about last night?” Brittni coos.

“No...” Ryder is stern. Thank goodness, stand up for yourself. “You can take the box and go.”

“Brody showed me the video after you left,” she says. Did I hear her correctly? A video? I lean my ear closer to the vent, and there's ticking and whooshing air muffling their conversation.

“Of what?”

“Don’t gaslight me. You know what I'm talking about. You’re such a liar.”

“I ain’t fucking gaslighting you. What video?” he snaps.

“You and Payton...” she says. My heart stops mid-beat like a song skipping on a scratched CD. My throat tightens as if a noose has been cinched around it.

“That’s none of your business.”

“Yes, it is!”

My vision tunnels with the words as I try to process what was just said. A cold flush rolls down my spine like someone proud ice water straight into my soul. Hold up. Rewind, where is the pause button so she can say it again?

“YOU and ME are over. You made that choice.”

I hear shuffling and clinking in the bedroom, footsteps creaking on the floor. “I made a mistake.” I’m laughing, with my palms getting sweaty against the floorboard.

“No, we are done. Now go, please.”

It’s silent, just the air in the vent funneling out, and it’s cold against my cheeks. The bedroom door opens, and a set of footsteps makes little thuds down the hallway. I press both hands on the floor, and rush over to my door. Peeking out of my bedroom, Ryder is escorting her out the house and making sure to lock the door behind him as she leaves. He heads into the kitchen, and I pursue him. He opens the fridge, taking out a bottle of water and twisting the cap off.

“What was that about?” I cross my arms over my chest so tight it’s as if I were trying to hold my ribs in place. Ryder swishes the water around before swallowing. His face was deliberately blank, not a single muscle twitching. He places the water bottle on the counter and leans against it with folded arms too, not as if he were about to fight with me, but as if he were about to build a brick wall to shut me out.

“Nothing...” he finally answers.

“No... spill. What happened last night?” I ask with my heart slamming against my chest attempting to make an escape.

“Nothing you need to know about!” Ryder raises his voice and slaps the countertop hard.

“Oh my God!” I dip my head back and head over to the pantry, snatching a box of Trix Cereal and slamming it to the counter. “It’s just a question!”

“You told me you wouldn’t go.”