Page 88 of Against The Tide

I used to think I didn’t know how to love. Maybe I was too selfish. Too self-indulgent or purely incapable of loving another person enough to need them. To want to please them, protect and make them happy. But Avery’s changed that. I’ve never loved another the way I love her, more than myself, my career, and my own happiness.

My phone pings with a message from Rowan, telling me he’s on his way. The knot in my stomach loosens, but as I kiss Avery a see you later, that ominous feeling claws savagely at my insides.

“I’ll meet you at the school.” I remind her, licking across her lips as I walk her into her bedroom and kiss her one last time before she gets into bed. “Later, sweetheart.”

“Later, Doc.”

The bungalow is dark as Rowan and I walk in after I’ve dismissed the alarm response guys. Nothing is amiss with the exception of the glass panel on the door being smashed. Everything appears exactly how I left it this morning before heading into work.

“Anything look suspicious?” Rowan walks around the kitchen looking into every corner and possible hiding place to one side as I do the other.

“Nothing.”

“You think this might be Tanyaie?” he asks while we move toward the bedrooms.

Never say never—that’s the saying, and with Tanya, I’ve learned that it’s true. However, the feeling in the pit of my stomach is nothing to do with her. I’m sure of it.

“She wouldn’t break in.”

Rowan gives me a look that asks, really?

“Word’s got around you have a girlfriend…she could be curious or pissed. It’s not exactly that far-fetched, shit like that happens all the time.”

“Maybe it does, but my gut tells me it wasn’t her.”

“Who, then? Who did you piss off this time?”

“If you think now’s the time to crack a joke, it’s not. I’ve got a bad feeling about this, and given Callie got nothing from her contacts so far…”

“What’s your point?” Instantly on the defensive at my mention of his wife, he pauses in the middle of the hallway to level me with a glare. “Callie’s doing everything she can.”

“I know, and I hope she finds something soon because I don’t have a good feeling about this.”

I don’t know how to explain it to him. The way my chest is constricting around my heart and the foreboding weight that’s lingering over me.

“You still have someone watching the ranch, right?”

“What do you take me for?”

“I’m not picking faults with you.” My voice breaks when I snap at him. After I’ve regained some of my composure, I add, “I’m worried.”

Rowan nods, his hardened expression thawing as I walk past him back toward the kitchen and open-plan living space.

“You ever get that feeling that you’re going to lose something before it even happens?”

My heart threatens to tear itself apart as I voice my biggest fear. Something I never saw coming.

Leaning back into the fridge, he crosses his arms, watching me as I tell him, “I can’t lose them.”

Rowan nods. He’s quiet for a beat before he says, “Gut feelings are a bitch.”

“What’re we going to do about it?”

“Make sure you don’t lose them.” He stands and checks the yard doors again before doing another walk-through of the house.

Meanwhile, my head is in overdrive. It doesn’t sit well that Carl comes here followed by the FBI and all of a sudden this happens. From what Avery told me of the conversation with the feds, they were assholes.

The trill of my phone brings me out of my thoughts, my chest tightening at the flash of Avery’s name on my screen.