Page 108 of Against The Tide

“This whole situation is bananas,” Haas chuckles, but the sound is at odds with the grave look on his face, and when Rhett nods a somber thank-you, I know there’s something very wrong.

The drive back to the Morgans’ home is far quieter than I can bear. My heart is thumping in my chest, so hard that it’s making me feel dizzy as I try to make sense of Dr. Haas’s cryptic words.

It’s not exactly the longest ride back to the house, but by the time we get there I’m past being on edge that when Rafe surprises us, I jump out of my skin.

“Whoa there!” he laughs, hugging me. When I don’t hug him back, he pulls away to look me over. “What have I missed?”

“More like what have we missed?” Callie asks, grabbing Rafe by the arm and dragging him downstairs, toward the basement.

“Oh shit.” Rowan blows out a breath following behind them.

It gives me a moment to get my head together before I find Rhett’s soft gaze. There’s a short beat of silence before he completely envelops me with his embrace. He holds me like glue keeping all my shattered pieces together even when the sob I’ve been holding on to pushes out of me.

The pain that’s burning through me is excruciating, and I still have no idea what the outcome of the discussion with Haas was. I’m still as much in the dark now as I was this morning, except there’s no denying that there is more to my father’s death.

It turns out that there are so many levels of pain, and this one is greater than any I’ve felt. Knowing that Dad was robbed of his time with us…it quite simply kills me.

Without letting me go, Rhett walks us into one of the rooms off the entrance hall. It’s so quiet that in a way it’s eerie as he sits in one of Nora’s large armchairs, settling me in his lap.

“Potassium poisoning,” he murmurs into my ear, whispering it like a dark secret that should never see the light of day. “That’s what he meant by bananas.”

Having a reason should make me feel better. I’m certain that it should, except it doesn’t. If anything, it makes me hurt more. My stomach churns and my heart screams inside my chest, its cry thundering in my ears and through my scorching veins.

“But he didn’t eat bananas. He hated the texture and—” My words are choked by the sob that swells in my throat. “And the smell. Dad hated the smell.”

When I try to look up at him, he pulls me right into his chest, keeping me prisoner with one of his strong arms around my waist, while he cradles my head with his free hand.

“You would have to eat something like four hundred bananas all at once to ingest just enough potassium to kill you. That’s four hundred bananas all at the same time.”

“That’s impossible,” I cough, and the rawness of it ripping through my chest into my throat only makes me sob harder.

“It is, sweetheart. That’s why you’d have to inject it.” The pieces of the conversation with Haas start to click together, but my brain is so sluggish that the picture only comes together when Rhett adds, “The reason the medical records aren’t wrong or missing information is that Robert didn’t have a vaccine. The needle bruising was where⁠—”

Pressing my hand to his mouth, I stop him from saying any more. It’s too painful. Finding out all of this is almost worse than that first second when I understood that Dad was gone. That it truly sunk in and I was alone. I can’t live through that again. It’s too much.

The walls are closing in. The sound of my heart keeping me alive is almost a mockery. The air is too thick. The room is too hot.

I need space, and yet I cannot pull myself away from him. I’ve never needed anything more than I need the shelter of his being right now.

“It’s not okay, sunshine. But I’ll do anything you need to make it better. Whatever you want, Avery. You call the shots, remember?”

“Just…don’t let go.”

“Never.”

True to his word, he doesn’t. Not even when it starts to get dark and the clock chimes that it’s time to get ready. Instead, he carries me up to the room Nora had made up for us. He sits me on the edge of the large tub and still holds me to him as he runs the bath. Even when he strips me of my clothes, he never removes his touch from me.

As if I needed any more assurance, this moment is all I need to tell me that I’ll never be able to live without him.

“We don’t have to go to this thing tomorrow,” Rhett murmurs as he gets in the tub and helps me in with him. “If you wanted to lie low or go home…they would understand.”

“I know.” But I want to.

I don’t verbalize that last part in case he asks me for an explanation. I’m not sure I understand it fully myself, and the last thing I want is to sound crazier than I already feel for thinking it. Logic isn’t exactly my forte right now, and although I know that, I can’t bring myself to stay away from that party. Someone there will know something. Hell, someone there may be responsible for all this. For murdering my dad. And I’m going to find out who and why. Why anyone would hurt one of the best people in this world.

Our bath is the shortest in the history of baths, but it helps me gather my wits enough to mask all the chaos inside me before we head downstairs for dinner.

The kids are all fed by the time we sit at the table, something I’m grateful for because I’m in a trance as I listen to the conversation as I dissect the lamb ragu and vegetables on my plate. Nora is talking through tomorrow’s party with Callie and telling her exactly what she expects from her. It’s somewhat of a welcomed distraction with Callie’s dry remarks and the way she teases her mother.