Page 71 of Xander

As soon as the dance was over, I tore away from him. He appeared wary when I hastily stepped back. Something constricted in my heart about being the one to put that wounded look on his face. I couldn’t tell if I was being too harsh with him or if my anger was justified.

“I have to use the bathroom,” I explained, wanting to soften the blow but also needing some space.

He nodded. “All right. I’ll walk you.”

Of course, he will.

As we followed the signs to the restroom, he nodded at the security guards he had sicced on me since this morning. When I confronted Xander about them, he insisted that he always had security at practice.

Bullshit.

This wasn’t my first rodeo with men who treated me like a possession; I knew the drill. The nod meant one of them would be the lookout around the building in case I tried to climb out the bathroom window, and the other would guard the bar entrance while Xander waited for me outside the bathroom door.

Where did he think I’d go? I had no one and no money or alternative to staying with Xander. It was the price for writing my life away to another domineering man.

More and more, Xander was starting to mimic a spitting image of Henry’s sins. Whereas I had felt apathy toward Henry, I felt red, hot rage at Xander’s actions. I suppose I had higher expectations because he had been my best friend once, and what was broken between us had been eradicated.

At least, there was one thing I learned during my time with Henry.

While guards may not defy the man filling their pockets, they wouldn’t refuse a favor for the person they were safeguarding. At the practice, I persuaded Jamie—one of the guards from Xander’s roster with dark hair and a rigid expression—to run an errand. I patted the purse tucked beneath my underarm with the item Jamie had brought back.

Xander looked torn when we approached the bathroom door, as if the minute of separation could turn into a recipe for disaster. Before he could insist on coming inside, I shut the bathroom door and relished the solitary moment.

I studied myself in the mirror above the sink. My pupils were blown wide like I had been doing cocaine, my hair was lusciously wild, and my skin had a sun-kissed glow, looking healthier than the sickly pastiness it became after marrying Henry.

The animated person I saw in the mirror might as well have been the reflection of a stranger. I couldn’t bring myself to admit why I looked like my old self again after spending a mere twenty-four hours with Xander. The credit for my cheeks sporting color couldn’t possibly go to him.

Shaking my head, I also inspected the damage he had left behind. There were numerous bite marks around my chest. The angry red streaks looked territorial, like ownership stamps. No doubt he might try to do more damage after sharing my attention with the men at this bar.

With a sigh, I stared down at the tiny, white packet Jamie had procured under my guidance. I debated my decision for one unsure moment as images of tiny hands and feet flashed in my mind. It put me in a choke hold, but reality quickly squashed the emotion.

Xander was much too young to be tied down. This fixation with me must’ve stemmed from years of resentment toward Henry. The moment it ended, I’d be in the rearview mirror and left to raise my stepson’s child.

I popped the pill in my mouth, using the sink water to swallow it down. Unsure how Xander would react to birth control pills—after telling him that I wasn’t on them—I stashed the remaining tablets in the inner pocket of my purse.

“Jordan!” Xander called from the other side of the bathroom door. “You done? We’re good to leave.”

I closed my eyes and breathed in through my mouth. “Be right there.”

Chapter

Twenty-Two

JORDAN

On the drive back, Xander assured me that he wouldn’t disclose what happened between us to Jasper. Rather, he’d explain that I was staying with him to get away from Henry, and they’d discuss the best options to keep Henry at bay. Tension filled the car when he caught the relief on my face, even though it was the most sensible thing he had said in two days.

The conversation after that—what little there was—seemed packed with minefields. Was this merely a part of his fickle mood? I was so used to Henry’s mind games that taking anything at face value was difficult.

Perhaps Xander was apprehensive about how Jasper would receive his explanation for my presence and was lost in thought on how to make it sound more plausible. In the more likely scenario, he was thrumming with impatience about getting the conversation over with so he could fulfill his promise from earlier.

I’m going to strip you naked as soon as I get you home.

My pussy throbbed on impulse. I instinctively pressed my knees together, trying to make sense of what was happening to me.

After being asleep for years, my libido seemed to be in overdrive. My sexual desires had suddenly awakened in a dystopian world where only my stepson could make me react.

Perhaps being committed wasn’t such a bad idea, after all. Why else would I say one thing and react the complete opposite? I climaxed every time he touched me. I thought it was a fluke the first time it happened. Now, I wondered if it was the early signs of my returning instability.