Page 113 of Xander

I’m sorry, baby.

I never understood how much I hurt you.

I turned into Henry, into everything I hated. Why? Why did I do that, Jordan?

I was so worried about you leaving me that it didn’t even occur to me that you might not if I simply made you happy. How could I have made such a big mistake?

And now that you’re gone, everything feels dark in my life.

I want to be a better man for you because I’m nothing without you.

I tore up the conservatorship application and testified that you no longer need supervision.

I blinked at the last message, hardly believing it was possible. It was followed by screenshots of him redacting his application and a document stating the end of the conservatorship altogether.

You’re free, Jordan. And as a free woman, choose me because you want to, not because I’m making you.

I leaned back against the uncomfortable, wooden desk chair that came with the apartment. I couldn’t believe it. It was what I had always wanted.

I was free—finally free—and ironically, the only person I wanted to celebrate with was Xander.

I kept reading.

I only show up to my games anymore because I’m hoping you’re watching them.

Did you watch the game last night, Jordan? That goal was for you, baby. The whole game was for you.

I can’t live without you, baby. Please respond to me.

Please, jailbird. Come back to me. Nothing is okay without you.

And then there was his very last message that’d be seared into my mind forever.

I’ll love you forever. I’ll wait for you forever.

At the sight of those words, I felt a few shattered pieces of my heart slot back into place, piercing me anew with an aching sweetness.

Before I could talk myself out of it, I took a deep breath and sent him a message, typing it out with fingertips that were already going numb at my daring. I knew I shouldn’t tempt fate, but I just couldn’t help myself.

Happy Birthday!

Chapter

Thirty-Seven

XANDER

It had been weeks since Jordan crawled out of my arms and abandoned me. Since then, I’d exhausted every avenue to find her, barely sleeping, eating, or doing much else.

The only other thing I managed to do was attend practice and show up at games to vent my rage. My track record had never been better—or worse, depending on who you asked. The games were also a way to communicate with Jordan, whether she watched them or not was yet to be determined.

As soon as the games ended, I was back to living a life of oblivion and nothingness. My little jailbird broke out of her cage and took my heart with her when she ran from me, and now all I am is a vessel of rage at myself and heartbreak over her.

“Xander.” Jasper walked into my room, his expression laced with concern.

“What?”

“I’m flying back to New York tonight. I won’t be back until next weekend.”