Page 41 of Fractured Destiny

“Good or bad?” Ty looks over.

Zane gives him a thumbs up. “Fucking great.”

Ty kills the playback. Studies the console for a moment, then smiles to himself. “You know, this record reminds me of something.”

“Yeah.” Zane looks over. “The one we made after Z.”

“Yep.” Ty taps the lyric sheets spread across the console. “Sometimes, when you’re full of emotions you can’t process, the only way out is to pour everything inside you into songs. Once they’re out…” He shrugs. “You finally have room for everything else.” His finger drifts across the stack. “This feels like one of those records.”

I frown. “What do you mean?”

He doesn’t answer right away. The room goes still.

“I think spending time with Noa and Levi is making you feel things you never thought you’d have,” Ty finally answers. “It’s a wonderful thing when you find your person.”

I’m speechless. What is he getting at?

Is he right?

It’s hard to reconcile. I spent years convincing myself I’d imagined my connection to Neeley. Only to find out Neeley was actually Noa and—surprise—we conceived a baby on our one night together. When I first met Levi, I became convinced the strange pull I felt toward Noa was only because of him.

She’s gone above and beyond, though. My first visits with Levi were awkward because I had no idea how to hang with a two-year-old and to him, I was just some guy. Noa’s made me feel welcome. Included. Important.

She’s encouraged us to develop a natural connection. Two meetings a week turned into three. Then four. Now we see each other most days for at least an hour or two.

Spending time with them is the thing I look most forward to.

Noa and I have also settled into a rhythm without ever talking about it. She hands me his backpack. I buckle Levi into his car seat. He reaches for my hand when he wants to show me something. Noa lets me carry him on my shoulders when we go on an outing. Before we say goodbye for the day, he throws one little hand into the air for a high-five.

It’s become our thing.

Six months ago my biggest problem was whether I remembered to buy guitar strings before a gig. Now, I need to pass a custodial visit from Hannah to earn my unsupervised parenting time. I’ve kid-proofed my condo and tomorrow, Noa is bringing him over to see his room. We’re going to tell him I’m his dad together.

I’m excited to have some alone time with Levi but, more and more, I’d give anything if the three of us were more of a package deal.

Holy shit.

The truth bounces around my head like a ping-pong ball.

My son is the greatest thing in my life, don’t get me wrong.

I’m also hopelessly in love with Noa.

I think about her all the time. She’s in my head at four a.m. when I can’t sleep. First thing in the morning. Last thing at night. For fuck’s sake, a couple days ago I watched her wipe applesauce off Levi’s chin with the sleeve of her sweater and I thought, plain and clear, I want to marry this woman.

“She’s not the same woman I met at The Mission,” I hear my self say. “She’s a completely different person.”

“What do you mean?” Ty squints.

“That night.” I choose the words carefully. “She was high. Gave me a fake name, came home with me, rocked my world and left before the sun came up. The woman who spawned my hit songs was having a relapse and barely remembered anything.”

Ty’s quiet. He understands because, before he and Zoey reunited, he went through a wild spell.

“The woman I’m getting to know now is somebody completely different.” I lean back. “She’s clean as a whistle. Is a phenomenal mother and has built a stable life. She’s kind. Smart. Witty. Gorgeous…”

Zane snorts. Can’t help himself.

“I’m so fucking in love with her.” I plant my face on my palms. “I’m in love with the woman she is now and I’m still in love with the woman she was then, because they’re the same person.”