Page 92 of You Saw the Best In Me

I’m shutting down and pushing her away, but I can’t help it.

If Grams dies, I’ll be all alone again.

It’ll be me and Harper and I don’t know if I can take it.

Death is a sore subject, and with Grams nearly on the edge, I can’t escape the memories that haunt me from the last time I dealt with this.

“Karina, I appreciate everything you’re trying to do, but I think you should go home,” I tell her, instantly seeing the pain in her eyes.

“That’s not my home,” she whispers, almost as if she can’t believe it.

“Neither is this,” I open the door, effectively letting her out of this.

This tangled mess that is my life. I might have to become legally responsible for a teenager, and I can’t drag her with me.

“You don’t mean that. There’s no fucking way you mean that Maverick. Look at me,” she begs, and I can’t.

“I’m right here. I’ve got my scars, my heart, and I’m all fucking yours. Don’t push me away. Just let me fucking help you,” she cries, and I have to turn away.

Seeing her cry will send me into an emotional spiral I’m unprepared for.

“Karina, for now, I do. Let’s talk in the morning,” I shut the bathroom door and hear her sobs from the other side.

I’m breaking what I love, and it’s all my fault.

I listen as she composes herself, and grabs her essentials from my room, until I hear the bedroom door close behind her.

It’s a long time before I come out, and when I do, Harper is already asleep, and I’m a mess.

There’s no chance that I’ll be able to sleep tonight, my overthinking will consume me until the morning comes, and there’s a whole new fresh set of problems to face.

Sure enough, I toss and turn all night, regretting my choices. Karina’s side of the bed is empty, and I realize that I haven’t slept alone in months.

I feel hollow.

After a sleepless night I know exactly where I went wrong, and I’m hoping I can fix it. Luckily, I don’t have to travel far because my girl is right across the hall.

It’s early, the sun has barely risen, but I’m standing outside her door with my apology in hand.

“What, Maverick?” she glares at me, looking cute as ever in her lacy pj set.

“I’m so fucking sorry, baby girl. Please let me in,” I beg, and she opens the door.

I hand her the coffee I made, sweet as shit, but just how she likes it.

She doesn’t say anything, sipping the coffee and standing with one hand on her hip. I can’t hold in my fears anymore, and it all comes out like word vomit.

“I’m scared she’s going to die,” I blurt, and Karina immediately wraps her arms around me.

“Don’t fucking push me away, do you understand, Maverick Carter?” she says, the stern look on her face scaring me a little.

“I’m sorry. I won’t shut you out again. No matter what,” I kiss her forehead, and she softens.

“Whatever happens, I’ll be here. You can’t get rid of me that easily,” she smirks, and don’t I know it.

“I feel like I’m treading water, thinking of all the things that could happen. I’m not ready to take Harper alone,” I wipe the fallen tears and sit on her couch.

I look around Karina’s apartment, mostly clean, but barely lived in, and it hits me.