Page 34 of You Saw the Best In Me

The rage always takes over, makes them yell and say shit they don’t mean, then they apologize and promise it’ll never happen again.

Rinse, wash, repeat.

The cycle never changes.

If I spent my last few days sad over him, that is gone now. I could’ve gotten over how he wanted to stay friends; that wasn’t terrible and was for the best. I needed a few days to heal from that wound, but what just happened is irreparable.

I refuse to be treated like that, again, and I can’t believe I keep letting people see these deeper sides of me, because all they do is destroy anything sacred.

I do the only thing I know now, I call my mom.

She answers right away, and my voice is shaking.

“Mom, I need you,” I say, the tears coming down fast.

“What happened? Is it Asher? Do I need to come get you?” she fires off questions before I can even calm down enough to answer them all.

“No, it’s not Asher. I fucked up, Mom. I let someone in,” I say, lying on my bed and staring at the ceiling.

“What do you mean? You’re making me nervous,” she’s pacing; I can tell by how fast she’s talking.

“My neighbor, the one I told you about? We started to get close, and I thought I could trust him,” I let it out, the tears flowing again now that I’ve said it aloud.

“Did he hurt you?” she’s got a severe tone in her voice, and I rush to tell her he didn’t.

“Not physically, but he screamed at me like I’m responsible for everything awful in this world. I don’t know what to do,” I cry, and my mom listens.

I explain everything that’s happened, leaving no detail out, and by the time I finish the story, she’s sighing and apologizing.

“Oh, Karrie, that sounds terrible. You don’t always have the best choice in who you let between your legs,” she says in her judgmental tone.

She chatters on, asking questions about Maverick and seemingly picking every little detail about him into shreds.

Of course, a blue collar man could never be good enough for her daughter, even if I’ve reminded her a thousand times we weren’t dating.

“Do you plan to forgive him?”

“No, Mom. He basically told me we had to stay friends and then screamed at me the way Asher used to. I can’t forgive that,” I tell her adamantly so she understands I can’t go through this again.

“Okay, I hope you stay away from him,” she says, and we leave it at that.

I should’ve known she’d be no help.

It’s quiet again, and I pour myself a glass of wine. Maverick won’t bring me down, not this time. I stick to my plan, getting the bleach kit ready.

It’s time for a refresh.

I’m letting the bleach sit, hoping that it’ll get my hair light enough for the silver-platinum color I picked to stick. I put some music on but keep it at a respectful level — only because of Harper. Once she leaves, my rage will reign down on that jerk.

There’s a knock on my door, and I instinctively yell at Maverick to go away.

“It’s Harper,” she says quietly, and I immediately open the door.

“Are you okay, honey?” I ask, knowing she had to witness that shit show just as I did.

“I’m fine. I’m used to Mav’s temper. Are you okay? I’m sorry I got you in trouble with him.”

She looks so sad, and I feel terrible she had to deal with this.