Page 29 of Final Score

Kissing me sweetly on the lips, Jenner closed the bathroom door, leaving me to my thoughts. Sinking into the near scalding hot water, one thought came to mind.

I do not deserve this.

CHAPTER 17

The first rays of early morning light shine across my face, as a light breeze flows through the open curtains. My hands search across the mattress for Kat coming up empty. Opening one eye, I look around the room. She’s nowhere to be found.

Walking out onto the balcony, I see a lone figure sitting on the beach below dressed in a sweatshirt that has my name across the back. Watching the sunrise, Kat sits in the sand looking peacefully out on to the water.

It’s the first time I’ve seen her truly at peace this entire trip. Weighing my options, I take in a deep breath of salty air. I know that brain of hers. If she spends too much time alone, she will think herself into a cyclone of anxiety that will only make things worse. I should go talk to her. Bring her coffee as an apology for disturbing her peace.

Lost in her thoughts, Kat remains unmoving as I walk up behind her. The sound of waves crashing against the shore, drown out my footsteps. Settling down behind her, I pull her back to my chest, wrapping my arms loosely around her shoulders, her legs curling between mine. Everything about her stance screams that she’s protecting herself. From her past, from her thoughts… from me. Resting my chin on her shoulder, I give her a few more moments of silence before I speak.

“It’s a beautiful morning.” I murmur quietly into her hair.

“It is.” She answers too quickly.

Kat fidgets in my arms, like my touch is an annoyance. I drop my arms, placing them into the sand beside me, giving her the space, she needs.

“Do you want to tell me what you’re thinking?” I ask as Kat sighs before folding herself inward even further.

“My dad.” She pauses, her voice cracking. “My dad was the best person I knew. He was kind, funny, always understood my jokes. I never imagined there’d be a day he wouldn’t be here. I knew the job was dangerous, but he always promised he would come home, and he kept his promise until one day he couldn’t anymore.”

I wanted nothing more than to fix the pain I knew was ripping through her heart at the moment. Kat never talked about her dad, never mentioned her past. It seemed that now she needed to open the pandora’s box she kept so tightly closed around her thoughts.

“He always joked he was Superman. That his only kryptonite was my mom. They loved each other so deeply. God, even when they fought, I’d never seen a couple more in sync. It was like thy were the same person split into two bodies. Soulmates to the very core. When dad passed, I didn’t think mom would ever recover. Looking back on it now, the only way she knew how to move on was to run as far away as she could from the place that reminded her of him the most.” Kat shifted, her long hair blowing against the warm breeze off the water as she studied the water intently. As if she was willing it to wash away her pain.

“So, we packed up our entire life into one van. Left everything else behind and moved to Seattle. I tried to adjust the best that I could and not cause her any more stress. Kept my head down, finished school, enrolled in college, got a scholarship. I did everything I was supposed to do. But it never felt like home.” Leaning further into my chest, she continued.

“Mom eventually picked herself up off the floor. Met Tom and remarried. He’s nice, he really is. But he’s not my dad. Her new marriage doesn’t even come close to what they had together. After seeing the wreckage, loving someone that much created in her life. I couldn’t… I made myself a promise. I’d never let someone in like that. Never love someone so much that it took over my entire life. That I’d never let someone all the way in, always keeping walls up around my heart. And I didn’t. Even with Noah, he never really saw me. He didn’t know the deepest, darkest parts of me. He saw what he wanted to see, and that was it.”

Kat turned, “It’s funny. I thought coming back here would heal some broken piece of me. Make me less angry, less bitter about the world. But then I realized California isn’t home anymore. Seattle is home… you are my home and with all of our friends. That’s where I feel safe, and calm. Like maybe I can finally be the authentic version of myself.”

I wait silently making sure she’s done before speaking. “I told you, I’d get you to change your mind and fall for me.”

“Shut up.”

“I have an idea.” I respond, suddenly itching to wash away the sadness from this moment. I needed to see Kat smile. “Why don’t we go have a fun day? Let loose, feel like kids again. Let’s go to Disneyland.”

CHAPTER 18

Jenner hadn’t left my side all day, checking on me every second he got. He hadn’t let me out of his sight since the moment we arrived at the park. It was sweet, really, but I knew he was only doing it because of the conversation we’d had that morning.

I hadn’t been to Disneyland in years. True to his word, Jenner and I had spent the day playing like children. We had ridden every ride possible, taken pictures with characters, and had even indulged in overly expensive seveners.

Catching a small moment to myself, I ducked into a shady area near the Castle and waited for Jenner to finish ordering our dinner. We were buying time, waiting for the fireworks to begin.

Checking my phone, I pulled up our flight information for tomorrow, and hesitated. Was I really about to run away from this man because I was afraid, he’d break my heart? After all, we had said this was no strings attached and like an idiot; I fell for him in a way I hadn’t for anyone else. He had fallen for me too, harder, and faster than I had. If there was one thing I knew, it was that no matter how brightly we burned together, we would destroy each other in the end. And I couldn’t watch the destruction loving him would cause. My stomach rolled as I weighed my options. Stay and prolong both our suffering by allowing us to fall harder for each other or leave and have the hurt last only for a moment.

My fingers hovered over the accept button, as a bright blue pop up on the screen told me I had just sealed my fate.

Flight Information changed: LAX - SEATTLE

One Passenger

Departure: 6:00 am

Arrival: 8:00 am