Page 12 of Holding On

He has to be close to 6’4” so it’s perfect for a tall babe like you. Nice deflection though.

Me

Sigh. No, Wells will be somewhere in Europe so no reason to stop at Lux…

Fiona

False. You could be the reason. You could call Jack right now and I bet he would even come to you, you little chicken shit. What are you so scared of? I know he has feelings for you and Lord knows we all know you’re so far gone for that man. Pretty sure Wells even knows at this point. Why are you STILL avoiding him?

I huff out a sigh and throw myself back onto my bed. Staring at the ceiling, it’s hard to put my feelings into a text, even to my best friend. I am absolutely still avoiding Jack, despite the fact that my feelings have not at all diminished for the man. But I also don’t want my darkness and the evil that is so wrapped up in my life to touch him in any way. There’s not an easy solution to this—or that’s what I tell myself while I ignore the very obvious fact that I am also a giant chicken shit.

Fiona

Seriously, do you want ME to tell your brother? We both know I’ll gladly call him up right now! It would be the worst surprise of all time.

Me

Why would Wells know anything? He doesn’t know anything or he’d say something… right?!

Fiona

Not necessarily. He loves you both and knows it’s complicated.

Me

I can’t handle losing him. If Jack is at a distance, he’s still in my orbit. I can’t lose him all together.

Fiona

But what if pushing him away is just wasting time until you two can be happy and together?

Me

Like you said, it’s complicated, Fi. You know that. Speaking of complicated things… did you talk to Dahlia? Is she going to do it???

Fiona

I just want you to be happy, Tins. You deserve it. You deserve the world.

Fiona

And yes, I finally did have my own hard conversation. She’s going to think about it, but it felt like she’s going to say yes!!

Fiona

I already messaged the attorney, Daphne, she’s the same one Max suggested when I asked for his recommendation for an attorney I could trust with personal and highly sensitive things… which obviously this is. Daphne is going to have the paperwork ready, just in case she says yes, I need to have everything in place.

Fiona

I’m hoping for sometime this fall/early winter.

Me

Of course she will say yes, she’s a great sister! You deserve to be happy too. I have to go do some press calls, let’s try and facetime tonight when you’re back on the bus.

Fiona

It’s a date, babe. Love you forever! Xoxo.