Page 101 of Choosing Us

That’s something that could actually help me.

“One would think, but I designed them to appear outdated, and if anyone tampers with them other than me, they wipe all data. I have them do that anyway once I have footage secured in my private cloud storage.”

“Why would you do that?”

“So, I can watch—and then watch again anytime I want.” He nods to the corner of the room where a small ominous red light is slowly blinking. “After I kill you, I’ll have the digital footage to keep the memory forever.”

Well … shit.

That’s a pretty big problem.

CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX

“What do you mean it’s you?” Walker demands.

“The object of his obsession. Mason, pull up those dates again, will you?” I get up and shakily walk toward the screen. “When Karlie Voss was murdered? That’s the same week I officially joined this task force. Monica Jackson’s attack and Jennifer Johnson’s murder both happened on my birthday—two years apart.”

“Okay, that’s not nothing, but it still doesn’t put the focus solely on you. What about Lisa Brown’s murder three years ago?” Tara asks.

“I might have something,” Mason adds. “A few days before Lisa Brown’s murder, Harlow was featured in mainstream media for the first time in her career after consulting on a high-profile case in Philadelphia. It looks like it largely focused on Harlow’s career success thus far at such a young age.”

Walker hums. “Mason, can you run the other dates and see if anything else pings in regard to Harlow specifically and the dates of the murders?”

“Evangeline Lewis’s murder was just after our task force arrested The Susurro, but Harlow wasn’t named specifically in the news for that one.”

“So, it’s someone that knew I was working that case. They were close enough to have inside knowledge.” I move away from the screen and start to flex my hands. I am trying my hardest to stay as mentally on task as possible, but the beads of sweat that are lining my hairline are a clear physical clue that I am freaking out.

I just can’t freak out. Not yet.

Because all of this feels familiar still, and I need to press the final piece into the puzzle before I am allowed to freak out or break.

“Harlow, can you pull up your calendar and see if anything stands out for you four years ago in late April into early May?” Kelly asks as he watches Mason write some kind of code.

I walk over and pick up my cell phone—no missed calls or messages from Ryan yet—and pull up my calendar. “Nothing high profile, I attended a conference in Boston where I was finishing up my fellowship. But in May, I started FBI training after being recruited for the BAU track.”

“That feels like a significant professional accomplishment, though, and apparently a trigger then for whoever the unsub is that’s obsessed with you,” Tara gently says as she reaches over and squeezes my hand.

I shake my head. “But no one has fixated on me or my career. There are no scorned ex lovers. I haven’t even been in a serious relationship until last fall.”

“I’d say that ring on your finger is pretty serious,” Kelly adds.

“Yes, of course it is, but this killer has been active much longer than I was in a relationship with Ryan. We had assumed the killer was replacing a romantic relationship, unless…”

I get out of my chair and start to pace again.

The logic was there. We assumed the unsub was staging these murders to recreate a romantic relationship, but it is possible that we overlooked the very close—but very different—scenario of the unsub trying to recreate a specific scene or event in their own personal life, but through a different form of love.

Or hate.

But it’s a woman. It’s definitely all been geared toward a woman in the unsub’s life or history that has had a profound effect on their ability to function within the typical constraints of society. He doesn’t see these kills as acting outside of the acceptable norm because he thinks he is above the norm. For a figure to have this much impact and influence on a man’s life, it has to be a bond that lasted through a traumatic event or over a long-established period.

“Can you share with the class where your thoughts are leading you, Harlow?” Walker breaks into my thoughts, pulling me back into the room.

“I think we need to consider he isn’t trying to recreate a relationship with a romantic interest. It’s why there is never any sign of sexual assault or physical release in the sexual nature even near the scenes. It’s not about sex for him; it’s about control and having the final say.” I am rambling but my team keeps up with me as I move along the table.

“So, could it be a maternal figure?” Mason supplies.

I nod. “I think we need to explore that very real possibility. The unsub is trying to replicate something that either happened in the past, or he wished would happen with his mother in the future. Although the positioning of the bodies, and the placing of the carnation, I think we are looking for someone whose mother died.”