Page 41 of Enter if you Dare: Part Two

“I am your family.”

I scoff at him and undo my seat belt so I can lean across and undo his. “No, you’re simply someone I share blood with. Family is supposed to mean more than that.”

He looks away and laughs under his breath. “Oh, fuck off.”

“No.”

His hand reaches for the door, and I lock it, because he isn’t walking away from what I have to say this time. Rowan’s head snaps toward me.

“You’re going to listen,” I tell him.

“I don’t have to listen to shit.”

“You do if you want me to keep driving.”

His nostrils flare, and for a second I see the brother who slapped me when I wouldn’t give him money. My heart beats faster, but I don’t move.

“I was a kid,” I say. “Do you understand that?” He looks down at the door handle instead of at me. “Mom and Dad died, yet somehow you were the only one allowed to fall apart. You got to be angry and disappear. You would drink and use whatever you could get your hands on, wasting every chance anyone gave you.”

“You think I wanted that?!”

“I think you stopped caring what it cost the rest of us.” Tears roll down my face, and I don’t bother hiding them.

He lifts his head and looks at me. “That’s bullshit.”

“I gave up everything for you,” I cry.

“I never asked you to.” His words hit like a fist to the gut. Rowan’s expression changed when he saw my first tears fall. Regret flickered, but it was gone almost as quickly as it appeared. Now he shifts against his seat and looks out at the pumps.

“You chose to help me,” he says sullenly. “You can’t throw it in my face now.”

I stare at him in disbelief; nothing is ever going to change with him.

“I chose to help my brother. But I didn’t choose to spend years being punished for loving him.”

“You always make yourself the victim.”

I reach down and turn the engine off. “No, Rowan. You did that.” The sudden silence between us makes the car feel claustrophobic. “Every time I said no, you reminded me that Mom would be ashamed. Every time I tried to step away, you said Dad never would have abandoned you. You used two dead people to keep me exactly where you wanted me.”

“I was struggling.”

“So was I.” My voice cracks, and Rowan flinches, but I don’t stop. “I was grieving too. I lost them too. But I had to figure out the bills and the house after you spent all the money they left us. I had to make sure Leni had what she needed. And I had to keep making excuses for you, so she didn’t see our brother the way I did.”

“I love Leni.”

“Not enough.” I shake my head as cars fly past the gas station, though none stop in. The world continues around us, while inside this car, everything is the same as it always is. “Leni watched men come into the house looking for you. She watched me come home covered in bruises. Learned to check the door was locked at least three times before going to bed.” Rowan’s gaze drops to his hands. “She knows the sound of you on nights you came home drunk, so she could go straight to her room.” I feel a tremendous relief lift off my shoulders at finally telling him. “Leni left for college and barely comes home. And I was glad because I knew she was safe. My biggest regret was failing her.”

“You didn’t fail her, Val.”

“I know that now. You did.” His face tightens at my words. “You failed us both.”

“Valli—”

“No, it’s your turn to listen. I have held this in for so many years.” He leans his head back against the seat and closes his eyes. “I paid your debts, I lied for you, I gave you money meant for bills, I let you sleep in the house after you stole from me.” His eyes open. “And I forgave you after you hit me.”

“I said I was sorry.”

“You were only sorry because you needed something from me.”