Page 45 of My Brother’s Best Friend

“I don’t know what to think,” I said, my voice strangled. “Why were you on that app?”

“Why do you think? For the same reason you were.” He looked at me wonderingly.

“Trying to find someone to lose your virginity to?” I forced myself to say it.

“Well, no.” He smiled. “But I was trying to find someone to—to make me feel wanted again. After my ex cheated on me, I was just hoping to forget how shitty I felt.”

I swallowed. “Well, I’m sorry I got in the way of that plan. I didn’t mean to waste your time. I’m sure there are other guys who’d be happy to—”

“Dammit, Cam, do you not get that I’m happy it turned out to be you?” Jordan tugged my hand. “Yes, I’m surprised, but I don’t get why you’re acting like this is some big disaster when we both want the same thing.”

“Because we don’t want the same thing!” I burst out. His eyes went wide, and I closed mine. I didn’t know why I was saying this, but I was already mortified, and I might as well make it complete. “Because I like you, Jordan.”

“You…like…me?”

“Yeah.” I was completely drained. Even opening my eyes again felt like too much. “Yeah, I do. And I was going to tell Miller I didn’t want to hook up anymore. That’s why I asked him—well, you—to meet up.”

“You didn’t want to hook up? But why?”

“Because even though I knew it was pointless and you didn’t feel the same way, I couldn’t imagine kissing someone else when I wanted to be kissing you. So if you want to laugh about something, laugh about that, because that’s the really pathetic part. I had a crush on my best friend’s little brother, which he’d probably kill me for, by the way, and I let it ruin my only chance to get some experience in an area I desperately need it.”

In the silence that followed, all I could hear was the slight buzzing of the fluorescent lights and the too-loud beating of my own heart. Finally, Jordan spoke.

“Cam, look at me.” There was a heat in his voice that scared me. “Cam.”

Tears of frustration were building up behind my eyes, but what could I do except obey? I opened them, willing myself not to react, no matter the expression I saw on his face.

“I’m not laughing. And you’re not pathetic.” Jordan squeezed my hand. “And you didn’t ruin anything.”

A stray tear trickled out of the corner of my eye. “But I told you—”

“You didn’t ruin anything,” he repeated. He brought his free hand to my face, wiping the tear away. “You didn’t ruin anything at all.”

And then he was kissing me. I couldn’t figure out how it had happened. One second we were standing there, frozen, and the next, my arms were around his waist, his hands were in my hair, and his lips were on mine.

It wasn’t an echo of our kiss on the patio. It was more like that kiss was an echo of this one, a faint reflection of its heat and passion and rightness. Jordan pushed me back until I bumped against the wall. I pulled him tight, relishing the warmth of his body against mine, his tongue tangling with my own. When our lips finally parted, I was gasping for breath.

“I like you,” Jordan said, giving me a level look. “In case that wasn’t clear. And I was planning on letting Quincy down easy tonight too.”

“You were?”

“I was.” He smiled. “I might have started out wanting a casual hookup, but these past two days, spending time with you, something changed. I didn’t expect you to return my feelings—I was pretty sure you were straight, for one thing—but it didn’t matter. I liked you, and I didn’t want to be with anyone else.”

My head was spinning. “But…why? Why would you like me?”

“Why does anyone like anybody? Because you’re sweet, and you’re kind, and you’re funny, and you’re smart, and you get flustered talking to strangers and ramble about melons. Because you’re you.” He grinned. “Being hot doesn’t hurt either.”

“But I’m not hot.”

“I respectfully disagree.”

“Jordan, I know what I look like. I might not be awful-looking anymore, but—”

“You were never awful-looking, you idiot. I seem to recall telling you that before. You’ve always been hot.”

“I’m thirty-one years old, and a virgin. That’s not hot, you can’t tell me it is. And I don’t know how to talk to people, and I don’t do crowds, and I have like, one friend, and I’m weird.”

“You’re not weird. You’re you,” Jordan said. “I told you. I like that.”