Page 117 of Wildflowers & Whiskey

Phone goes straight into the back pocket as my porch light comes into view, that dim hue guiding me in the dark. It feels eerie out here tonight, nothing like the usual warm feeling I get when coming back to the cabin after a long day's work.

I head straight to the kitchen, knowing sleep won’t be taking me under anytime soon. So, I do what I always do—grab a glass, grab the whiskey, and take myself out to the porch.

The chair takes my weight the same it always does, worn into shape after too many late nights out here. Out past the fenceline, the cattle move softly through the dark. The barn sits black against the horizon. Above it all, the stars stretch wide over the land while the moon catches the amber in my glass.

I take a pull, feeling the burn all the way down. Closing my eyes just a second to really feel everything. When they snap open again, I look out over the land, wondering what my father would make of this mess.

He knew exactly what Ruby was like, knew it long before I was willing to admit it. There were years he was more present for Colt than I was, which is something I’m not proud of, but it’s the truth. When I told him the ranch needed to go to Colt, that I’d run it until he was ready but needed to be his, the old man never questioned it. Didn’t even ask for an explanation.

We both knew Ruby would come back someday.

Just didn’t think she’d ever stoop this low, taking away the one person who I have loved more than anything in this life. Colt. The look on his face flashes in my vision so clearly, like I’m replaying a movie in high definition. It’s going to stay with me, that’s for sure.

He’s not my blood. I’ve known that since before he was born. Loved him before he even arrived. It never mattered to me. I knew he was going to need someone steady in his corner, to protect him throughout his life.

I’ve been there for every scraped knee. Every bout of sickness. Every horse riding lesson. Every damn second, raising him. I was there for all of it, even when I was acting like a dick on the surface.

Maybe I should have told him sooner, before Ruby ever had the chance to weaponise it. But I thought that she loved him enough to never go there. Even at her worst. I was wrong.

Now I have to figure out how to look him in the eye and explain that I kept it from him out of love, not deception. That there is a difference. And pray that he's in a place where he can hear that.

But then, how am I supposed to explain Maeve? That came from a place of selfishness… and love.

I didn’t mean to fall in love with her. It just happened quietly, even taking me by surprise. And by the time I noticed that she’s become a part of my everyday and a part of my very being, I was in too deep.

My hand tightens around the now-empty glass. I lean forward, forearms resting on my knees, staring at the worn floorboards beneath my boots.

Tomorrow I’ll have to look Colt in the eye and pray to God he looks back. Pray we don’t go straight back to where we started, with him shutting me out and building those walls between us all over again.

And Maeve… Christ.

I already know how that conversation ends.

Goodbye.

Because that’s who she is. If she thinks leaving is the right thing to do, she’ll do it, no matter what it costs her. And I’ll have to let her go despite every part of me knowing she belongs here—with me.

I dread the arrival of tomorrow, because tomorrow means facing the very real possibility that the two people I love most in this world might slip through my fingers. And if I lose them both… I don’t think I’ll survive.

Chapter Forty Four

Colt

I am up early, just shy of the sun rising. And I would love to say it's because I had a good night's sleep and I’m ready to take on the day like a functioning human being who has his life together.

But no.

I didn't sleep.

I spent the entire night staring at the ceiling, still in yesterday’s clothes, lying on top of the cover, while the cabin creaked and groaned through the night on my behalf. Every time I thought I was close to drifting off, something from the parking lot resurfaced, dragging me back to full consciousness again.

Eventually, the sky outside transformed to that greyish hue that means morning is coming whether you're ready for it or not.

I wasn’t ready for it. But I got up anyway, because lying there was only giving my brain more time to replay last night’s events on an endless loop.

That’s how I have ended up in the barn before the rest of the ranch has even started waking up. Putting my hands to work and keeping my mind occupied with tasks that don’t require much thinking.

Just because my life has fallen apart doesn't mean I get to let my ranch fall apart too.