Page 14 of Hope and Hot Chocolate on Mistletoe Lane

‘Okay, I’ll try one and can I have a large latte with it, please? Willow is coming to pick me up in a bit so I’ll have them here.’ Holly spoke like this was completely normal for us to be talking about breakfast in the café. Maybe to her it was. She probably had no regrets about us or hadn’t thought about me or missed me. I needed to follow her lead and just be normal.

‘I’ll bring them over,’ I said, turning away quickly to get her order ready so I wouldn’t have to look into those pretty eyes of hers any more.

‘Actually, I could do with picking your brains. Could you spare five minutes and sit down with me?’ she asked, not moving.

I kept my back to her. I felt my parents’ eyes on me again. ‘Sure,’ I mumbled with a shrug, wondering why Holly seemed so determined to talk to me. I wondered if anyone in town had told her I wasn’t big on making small talk. Maybe I could hint for someone to give her the tip-off.

After I’d made her coffee, I carried it over on a tray with her croissant. A queue started to form with commuters, but I let my parents handle everyone as I went to the table by the window. Holly was looking outside again. She had that same wistful expression on her face. Despite myself, curiously bubbled up under my skin.

‘What’s so fascinating out there?’ I asked as I slid the tray onto the table.

Holly jumped a little bit and looked at me as I sat down opposite her. If I wasn’t mistaken, a faint pink flush tinted her cheeks. ‘It’s just so strange being back, I keep thinking about the past. Do you remember when we used to collect pine cones and your mum would put them in bowls on each of the tables in here? And we used to help decorate the café for Christmas? I looked at the gingerbread village in the window when I drove into Birchbrook. I remember your mum making the first one. How old were we?’

‘Fourteen. She’s made one every year since. We have to put the tree up outside the café along with the rest of the High Street at the start of the month so Mum makes the gingerbread village then too. But we save our inside Christmas tree for the last weekend in November. That’s when we launch our festive menu too.’

‘Could I help you decorate it?’ she burst out, then looked stunned at what she had said. ‘Sorry, I don’t know why…’

‘Sure,’ I said, without thinking too. We looked at one another. I cleared my throat. ‘Anyway, what did you want to ask me, as we’re pretty busy?’ I said briskly, inwardly kicking myself for accepting her offer to help when I should be keeping my distance from her.

‘Oh, yes, right…’ She looked flustered for a movement then took a gulp of her coffee. ‘That’s a good coffee. Better than Starbucks.’

‘I should bloody hope so.’

She giggled, which surprised me. I wasn’t sure I ever made anyone giggle around here. ‘Willow wrote some things on her website when she started selling tickets about what the winter wonderland would offer and she mentioned an ice rink. Then I remembered that you used to be great at skating and played ice hockey. So, I wondered if you still had a contact at the local rink I could speak to? They might know of a way to hire a rink locally that won’t break the bank too much?’

‘You remember that?’ I grew up loving skating and was always at the local rink. When Holly and I became friends around the age of thirteen, she would often come along to watch, never wanting to get on the ice herself. I still tried to skate once a month, but I hadn’t played ice hockey since I was eighteen.

‘Of course!’

‘Well, yeah, I can speak to Elliot, who runs the place. We often have a drink on a Friday night in the pub. But I’ll call him as timing is tight.’

She beamed at me. ‘Amazing, thank you! I remember the pub is cosy. I might need alcohol to get through this winter wonderland.’ She took a bite of the croissant. ‘So yummy, just what I wanted.’

I hesitated, suddenly wondering if I should invite her for a drink at the pub. Just two old friends catching up. Then the door opened and in walked Willow so I jumped up. ‘I’ll let you know when I’ve spoken to him.’

As I headed back for the counter, I realised that, sitting there with Holly talking about skating and decorating for Christmas, it had weirdly felt, just for a moment, like no time had passed. Talking about things we had done for years together. I wanted to know about her life now but I wasn’t part of it, so was there any point?

Willow ordered a coffee then joined Holly and they started talking. I tried not to glance over as I helped serve customers but it was hard not to. Not too long ago, I hadn’t thought Holly would sit at that table ever again. And it was like she belonged there.

Everything felt up in the air.

My dad said he’d support whatever I wanted like he knew I was unhappy here. I had made a plan but suddenly, I wasn’t sure I wanted to follow it. Which was crazy. Holly returning should mean nothing to me. After all, I used to blame her for leaving me stuck here. And my parents for making me feel like I should stay.

But that was all bullshit. I replayed Holly’s last moments in town again in my mind as I had done so many times over the years. Because deep down, I knew the only person to blame for her leaving that day and not ever coming back was myself.

12

PAUL

Ten Years Ago

My heart was in my throat as I ran to the cottage Holly shared with her mum. Donna had called the café and my mum had woken me up to tell me Holly was leaving this morning. I couldn’t believe she had planned to go without telling me.

‘Were you just going to leave?’ I demanded as I skidded to a halt beside her car as she heaved a suitcase into the boot.

‘I thought it was better this way,’ Holly replied as she closed the boot up with a thud that wasn’t much louder than the frantic beating of my heart.

‘You’re acting like we’ll never see each other again,’ I said. It was making me anxious. I’d seen her pretty much every day of my life for the past five years. The thought of her not being around the corner was freaking me the hell out.