Page 9 of Hope and Hot Chocolate on Mistletoe Lane

‘I can’t believe I’m doing this,’ I said as I folded up yet another jumper and placed it in the open suitcase on my bed. I glanced out of the window. My small apartment had a view of the city that was dark now but the buildings twinkled like fairy lights. I wondered if the stars were clearer in Birchbrook. The stars seemed to shine so brightly out there when I was younger. Maybe I’d get a chance to look at them while I was back.

‘I’ll miss you,’ Georgia said then.

‘Me too. It’s not for long, though. Once we open the winter wonderland and make sure it’s running well, I’ll be back. I have to save my business somehow.’

‘I know, and you will. It sounds so fun – a winter wonderland on a farm in the countryside. Maybe I’ll come to see it once it’s open.’

‘You, on a farm!’ I pretended to look shocked.

‘I’ll buy some wellies,’ she said with a laugh then she tossed a black dress into the suitcase.

‘I don’t need that,’ I told her with a shake of my head.

‘Listen, what if some hot country man asks you out? There might be a Christmas party… You need something other than jeans and jumpers.’ She pointed to the clothes I’d packed so far. ‘You usually wear smarter clothes for work than these.’

‘I felt out of place in them earlier,’ I admitted. ‘I’ll be on a farm. Willow is super casual, and so is everyone in Birchbrook. I want to melt into the crowd. I want to be invisible while I’m there.’

Georgia raised her eyebrow. ‘I hate to tell you this, Hols, but you and me are never invisible. We’re tall women. Everyone notices us!’

I sighed. ‘Good point.’ I thought back to Grant telling me not to wear heels to work events because they made me look like a giant. That should have been a red flag right then and there. I thought he was looking out for me, but now I thought he was just a dick. ‘I need to blend in, get this winter wonderland done and drum up good publicity for my business, and hopefully get some more events booked in so I can keep it going. Willow is transferring me half the money now so I can pay my rent for November and December at least. I just wish I didn’t have to go back to Birchbrook, that’s all.’

‘I know but the world didn’t end, did it? You’re here in one piece. You weren’t driven out with pitchforks or burnt at the stake?’ She grinned.

‘You’re mean,’ I said but I smiled, glad she was here to cheer me up. ‘I didn’t see many people but I didn’t get the friendliest reception from my old friend,’ I reminded her. I’d already given her the full rundown of everything that had happened in Birchbrook so far. ‘Paul didn’t seem pleased to see me at all. I guess I thought he might be once he got over the shock that I was back.’

‘Did you two date?’

‘No!’ For some reason, my cheeks turned hot again like they had done in the café after Paul had made me the drink I’d loved as a teen. That hot chocolate had always cheered me up no matter what and I was touched he’d remembered just how I liked it. I hadn’t had one in forever. I drank coffee now but I already fancied more of what he’d made me. ‘We grew up together. We were always just friends.’ I thought about how cute I’d found him back then, though. How I’d longed for him to see me as more than just his best mate. How I’d daydreamed he’d be my first kiss, but that hadn’t happened. He hadn’t been the first man I’d slept with either. I’d left Birchbrook with nothing romantic between us. Because I had been too scared to give him any clue that I thought of him in that way. ‘Maybe it’s just been too long. You can’t go back to how you used to be, can you? We’re both grown-up now.’ I felt a bit sad about it, though.

‘Is Paul married?’ Georgia tossed in a pair of pyjamas then reached for my underwear drawer.

‘Boundaries!’ I said, going over to do that myself. She laughed but packed up my make-up instead. ‘He didn’t have a ring on. His mum said he lives above the café. I was surprised he was working there, and still in Birchbrook. We talked about getting out of our small town a lot. And he never seemed keen to take over the place. His parents are lovely, though. And they make the best hot drinks and sweet treats for miles around. I guess I can see why he’s found it too hard to leave.’

‘Why didn’t you move away together? He didn’t want to go to university with you?’

‘I thought he was going to apply but he said he missed the deadline, which was confusing as he was always so reliable. He ended up going to the local one.’

‘You didn’t keep in touch though, did you?’ Georgia asked, thinking back.

‘We did – at first,’ I said with a sigh. ‘But you remember how hard it was for me at the start of university…’

‘You hated it,’ she said with a nod. ‘You were so homesick.’

‘Mostly because of Paul,’ I admitted. ‘I missed him like crazy and talking to him was making it harder. I knew I had to stay away in case I ended up wanting not to come back to university. I didn’t want to be like my mum: giving my heart and future to a man who tossed it aside like it was all nothing. She gave up her dreams to stay in Birchbrook with my dad and have me; I couldn’t let that happen to me.’

Georgia raised an eyebrow. ‘Shit, sounds like you had it bad for your best friend back then.’

I shook my head. ‘It doesn’t matter now; that was a long time ago. And I did the right thing in leaving. But it would be fun to catch up and find out what he’s been doing all these years. I’m just not sure he wants to do that.’

‘He probably just feels a bit pissed off that you stopped speaking to him. Wounded pride and all that.’

Guilt washed over me. Had I been like my father walking away from my mum and Paul like I had done? Sometimes, I wondered if, because I had tried so hard not to be like him, I had thrown good things away.

‘What does Paul look like now?’ Georgia asked then with a grin.

‘You’re terrible.’ I laughed though, pushing my guilt to the back of my mind. ‘Good, yeah. He was the only man back then I knew taller than me. He’s muscly now, he looks… strong. I’m not sure about the beard, though.’

‘I love a beard,’ she offered dreamily.