Page 50 of Cartel Devil
“What do you need from me?”
She looks at me blankly, and I realize I never responded to her earlier discomfort. I let myself sink into my own thoughts rather than support her. What the fuck kind of partner does that make me? I’m too self-involved, but this is a shit ton to take in. I’m a little rattled.
“Chica, if you want to have the baby, then we’ll figure out how to do that. We have time to decide what our relationship will be and how that’ll affect our co-parenting.”
“Are you really okay with being a dad? Fuck, Joaco. This is a fucking disaster. If you’re not ready for this, I won’t force you either. You can walk away, and I’ll—”
“Finish that sentence, and I’ll make sure you understand what happens when you’re purposely disagreeable with me.”
I sound fiercer than I intended, but I don’t want her to get herself worked up over something that’s a nonstarter.
“You’d punish me?”
“Yes.”
Her nostrils flare as she inhales so deeply I see her chest rise. She stares at me as the tip of her tongue peeks between her lips. The idea intrigues her.
“How would you do that?”
“Orgasm denial, restraints, spankings, edging. As your pregnancy progresses, I would lighten the spankings to just my hand.”
“So, there would be times when it wasn’t your hand?”
“Most definitely.”
“And if I don’t agree to that.”
“You will.”
Lust sparks in her gaze, and I can practically smell her arousal. She’s more than intrigued. She’s fucking turned on. She likes the idea of BDSM, even if it’s just light. But she especially likes the idea of me dominating her.
I lift her to straddle my lap. My hands rest on her hips for a moment before I pull her closer to me. I know she feels my hard-on.
“Joaco, no man’s spanked me. At least, not since I was like five or six, and my dad realized it wouldn’t even be worth trying.”
“I promise mine will affect you.”
She stares at me before she nods, offering me a timid smile.
“Is that what you want, chiquita?”
“Yes.”
“I want to be clear, though. I won’t punish you for standing up for what you want. I won’t punish you for disagreeing with me if it’s a legitimate argument. I won’t punish you for not wearing a coat, staying up too late, or not eating your vegetables. That’s not the kind of dynamic I want, and I don’t think you would either. It’s not true domestic discipline. But I will punish you if you’re purposely disagreeable because you speak poorly of yourself. Your thoughts are your own, and I can’t control that. But I won’t listen to anyone diminish you, even if it’s you doing it. I will punish you if you take any unnecessary risks. I will punish you if you ignore or disobey safety protocols. I’d insist upon both of those pregnant or not.”
“I understand. And if you break those rules?” She waggles her eyebrows.
“You’d have to catch me first.”
“But how glorious that would be if I did!”
She giggles, and I love it. It’s the lightest I’ve seen her since the night we met. She’s the woman I spent hours listening to, hanging on every word. She appears younger than she did a few minutes ago. She takes my breath away.
“Maybe I’ll let you tie me up one of these days, chiquita, and have your way with me.”
“I’d never untie you. Can you imagine it? My very own boy toy sex doll?”
She giggles again, but she squeaks when I abruptly rise and flip her onto her back on the sofa. I hover over her before slowly lowering my weight onto her, keeping much of it off her. I don’t want to crush her. She’s not a fragile woman, but she’s still petite compared to me. I glance down between us. An image flashes before my eyes. Her belly too rounded for me to do this. I want to put my hand there. It’s such a strong craving that it nearly knocks me sideways.
