Page 51 of Starlight

Fuck. He wasn’t usually that careless, not around his father. There’d been too many things said when he was growing up and playing football for him not to be careful. In that respect, the accident had given him the freedom to explore who he really was. Not that he’d done much about it until he was well down the rehab path.

His father seemed to glitch with his coffee in hand.

Cole silently dared him to say something homophobic or just fucking rude.

“So you are gay then?”

“Yeah.”

“Your mother thought you were. I thought you were smarter than that.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Dad, it’s got nothing to do with being smart. It’s who I am, and who I’m attracted to.” He grabbed his cereal bowl and put it in the dishwasher. “Three weeks leave.”

“In the middle of summer, when we’re busy? No.” His father shook his head.

“In the middle of summer, when it’s good for camping and road trips.” Given that the party was for solstice, he couldn’t delay his leave.

“I can’t spare you.”

Cole lifted his chin and held his father’s gaze. “Can’t or won’t?”

“Both.” His father took a drink of his coffee and returned Cole’s stare.

Cole pressed his lips together. “You can’t stop me from leaving.”

“If you go, you won’t have a job to come back to. Finding a part-timer for the weekend work wasn’t too hard. But I can’t hold a full-time position open for three weeks.”

As much as he didn’t like the job, he needed the job. And it wasn’t as though he hated it…it was more that he hated what it represented and the way it kept him trapped in town. But he didn’t want to burn his bridges and be stranded with no job and no idea. “So I’m supposed to never take leave, unless you want to take leave and don’t book any jobs? Is that right? Everything revolves around you?”

“Because it’s my business putting a roof over your head.”

“This roof was paid off long ago. I remember the celebration.”

“We’re a family, so we do what’s best for the family.”

“You wanted us to move in with your brother to help take care of his wife. You dumped the care burden on Mom. I was an unneeded extra. Why do you think I put so much effort into football? It wasn’t because I loved the game and the training and all of that; it was because it was a way out, so I could have a different life. One of my own making, yet here I am.” He lifted his arms and exhaled. “You know what, fuck it, make it four weeks. And if there’s no job when I come back, I’ll find something else.”

“It’s a family business.”

Cole couldn’t count the number of times he’d heard that. “I know, but I was never meant to work in it. That was never the plan. It’s taken me seven years, but I’m getting back to the plan.”

“You don’t have a plan unless someone tells you what plays to make. Is your boyfriend calling the shots this time? You don’t think it’s weird that he’s trying to get you away from your family, or that you only meet him at the cabin?”

“No.” If you knew he was a monster, you wouldn’t think that was weird either. You’d understand. Maybe. “The location works for both of us.”

His father grunted.

“I’ll let you know my travel dates.”

“That’s it? No discussion? You don’t even care that you’re leaving me in the lurch during the busy time of year?”

“I do care, but at the same time, I won’t get this chance again. So I’m going to take it. You used to tell me to take those risks. To go after what I want.” They’d had a better relationship before Cole had started working for him. Back when his father had cheered him on…perhaps his father had been living vicariously through him. Had he once dreamed of more than working in the family business?

“That was when you were a kid. Now you’re an adult with adult responsibilities. You have to grow up at some point.”

“And what does that mean, exactly? Working hard and never doing what I want?”

“It means that sometimes you need to sacrifice what you want for the good of everyone else. In this case, the business.”