Page 105 of Derivation

“We’re going to the food truck the restaurant has, and we’ll sit at a probably dirty picnic table and eat.”

“Yeah? That’s amazing.”

“It’s not exactly romantic, but–”

“No, it’s perfect. I love their food, and I’m with you.”

Sarai pulled them into the lot, and several minutes later, she was standing behind Gabi, holding on to her and resting her chin on Gabi’s shoulder as they waited in line and talked about the menu, what they wanted to order, and how they’d share it all. Even when they got up to the window, Gabi was still being held from behind while she placed their order, but then, Sarai got out her phone and tapped it on the reader to pay. After they moved over to the side to wait, Gabi pulled Sarai in for a long hug, and she didn’t let go of her until their food was ready. Then, she rubbed Sarai’s back before finally pulling away so that they could grab their dinner and find an empty picnic table in the grass overlooking a playground that was currently vacant.

“Can I ask you something?” Sarai said, looking up at her after she set her food down.

“Sure.”

“Do you want any of those?” Sarai asked, nodding toward a picnic table with parents and their two kids, both of whom were likely under the age of five.

“Kids?” Gabi asked back.

“Yeah. Do you want any?”

“That’s a pretty big question to ask on a second date.”

“I don’t,” Sarai revealed.

“You don’t?”

Sarai shook her head and asked, “Do you remember us talking about it in Amsterdam?”

“Yes. And you wanted them then.”

“I said I probably would because I wasn’t sure then, but I don’t want them anymore. I wanted to tell you now because I remembered us talking about it back then, and you said you wanted kids.”

“I was eighteen. I wanted a lot of things,” she replied.

“And I was twenty-two. I thought I did, too.”

“So, no kids?” Gabi asked.

“No. I’m already thirty-three, and I basically live for my job right now. I don’t see that changing now that things are picking up for us, either, and I love it. I don’t want to give it up or have to take time off. Maybe that makes me selfish.”

“What? No,” Gabi replied. “It makes you honest and self-aware. I think that’s more important.”

“Let’s pretend that you and I actually got that far and decided to do this. I’d probably want time with just the two of us first. Then, I’d be what, thirty-six? Thirty-seven? Maybe even older. And I don’t know if you–”

“Sarai?”

“Yes?”

“Babe, you don’t have to explain your decision to me. If you don’t want to have kids, you don’t need five reasons. I get it.”

“Does it change anything for you?” Sarai asked as she picked up her burrito.

“No,” she replied. “I’ll admit that this isn’t something I planned on talking about on our second date, but I understand why you’d want to. It doesn’t change anything for me, though.”

“You don’t want kids either now?”

Gabi shook her head.

“You’re sure?” Sarai asked.