Page 35 of A Soul’s Awakening

I fiddled with the corner of the paper menu until the server came over to take our order. In the end, despite my friends making fun of me for always wanting pizza, we decided to split one between us. I had encouraged Ren to order whatever he wanted, but since I had insisted on paying, he seemed hesitant knowing I didn’t have a century’s worth of savings from moonlighting as a dead reporter like he had.

The silence between us pressed in, heavy and unyielding. On any other day, Ren and I would have been teasing each other, words flying back and forth without a thought. But tonight felt different. Every glance carried a weight we couldn’t shake. My stomach twisted, my fingers tapping against my drink glass, and I caught the same tension mirrored in his jaw, the way his eyes lingered just a second too long before darting away. Neither of us knew where to start, yet neither of us wanted to end the silence by speaking first. Maybe this had been a bad idea, doing this in the middle of a phantom attack on Salem.

“So, um, you said you learned a lot of stuff in the underworld. Anything cool?” I finally asked.

Ren rubbed ‌his arm. Having shrugged off his jacket, the black tentacles of his octopus tattoo peeked out from beneath the sleeve of his long-sleeved shirt.

“Nothing all that interesting, now that I’m thinking about it.” He avoided my gaze, brushing it off with a small shrug like he was ashamed of it all.

“Okay. Well, what about that mysterious person you befriended? I hope he wasn’t as attractive as me.” I rested my chin on my fist.

Ren choked on his beer, his face turning beet red. “The man I met in the underworld, his name was Murphy. I showed him what you taught me, and he helped me further refine it so that I could trade and borrow magic, even without the other person’s consent. For example, if you were in danger, your will to survive would be strong enough to allow me to borrow your magic to protect you.”

“Oh, that’s brilliant!” I took a long sip of my martini. Now on the second one, I was starting to feel hot and fuzzy inside, not to mention a lot more chatty. “But what about people you’re fighting against? How do you gain the upper hand on them if you’re fighting someone who wants to take you down?”

Ren smirked. “By borrowing their magic when they attack. I did that back in the underveil with that guy’s fire magic. The magic has already been released from their body, so there’s no harm in me borrowing it that way. There are limitations, of course. I can only borrow as much magic as the person releases. It’s a one time use deal, and it’s not like I’ll instantly know how to use their magic either.”

Ren avoided making eye contact with me again, rubbing his fingers up and down the condensation on his beer glass.

“What aren’t you telling me, Ren? What else happened while you were there?”

“Nothing.”

“Ren, don’t lie to me.” I reached out for his hand but he pulled it away.

“Theo …”

“Please tell me, Ren.”

Silence stretched awkwardly between us until he finally answered. “There’s something you need to know and you’re not going to want to hear it.” His voice lowered to something almost remorseful.

“Okay, I’m listening.”

“The man I met … he knew Caspian. They worked together in a past life.” Ren finally looked up to hold my gaze. The maroon depths of his eyes flashed with something that made my stomach sink.

“And?” I urged.

“And, well, there was a side of Caspian you never got to know. Did you know that at one point in his life, he did join the Syndicate? That grimoire? Those were all spells he created for them. He did some bad things, Theo.”

The words hit harder than I expected. I had sensed Caspian was never a saint, but that even though he only thought of himself, he didn’t do anything without a distinct purpose.

“People change,” I said, perhaps a little too quickly. “You did.”

Ren's expression tightened. “Maybe.” Ren rubbed a hand across his face. “But that's not what worries me.”

A frown crossed my face.

“The man I spoke to said Caspian was brilliant. Kind, even. But he was also arrogant enough to believe he could control what he created.” Ren looked away.

“Murphy talked about someone who was always convinced he was the smartest person in the room. Someone who believed the rules didn't apply to him because he understood magic better than everyone else.”

My stomach churned, my throat tightening.

“Caspian wasn't dangerous because he was cruel. He was dangerous because he genuinely believed he knew what was best for everyone, including you, Theo. Even the Syndicate had trouble controlling him. Eventually, he got fed up and fled into hiding for over a century, continuing his research in secret.”

“So, what are you trying to say? That’s it’s a good thing he died?”

“Of course not.” Ren sighed. “According to Murphy, every line Caspian crossed was for a reason. The Syndicate didn’t want him back because they missed him,” Ren continued quietly. “They wanted him back because there are things only Caspian knew how to do. Things he never finished. And now, they know you have those memories of him. What do you think they’ll do to you?”