Page 28 of A Soul’s Awakening

“Shouldn’t we follow them back to Emberheart Place?” Ren asked, but I wasn’t going to let him off the hook on this one.

“No. Because you and I need to talk.”

An awkward silence settled between us for most of the way home. I wanted Ren to start the conversation, but after taking the final turn down the last street, I knew he wasn’t going to say a word, so I finally spoke up.

“Ren, I’m sorry for bringing you there. I wasn’t thinking about how hard that must have been for you to see my mom.”

“It’s fine. I volunteered to go.” There was a casual nonchalance in his voice, poorly hiding the fact that something bothered him.

“Was that the first time you’ve seen my mom since … back then?”

“How’s Jordan?” he deflected, changing the topic completely. I didn’t want to push him to talk about it, so I let it go.

“Markus messaged me earlier.” I glanced over at him. His thoughts seemed to be focused on something else entirely. “He said Jordan’s awake and recovering. They want to stop by tomorrow and catch up.”

“Mmm.” Ren never took his eyes off the road as he pulled into the driveway, stopped the car, and headed inside.

“Are you hungry? Do you want me to make something?” I asked Ren as he plopped down on the sofa and leaned his head back, closing his eyes.

“Whatever you feel like doing is fine with me.”

He answered as if my question had never reached him. The disconnect hit hard, a tight knot of frustration, fear, and longing twisting in my chest all at once. Since we had made our escape from the Nether, I’d felt unseen, shut out, and suddenly desperate to pull him back to me. Before I could talk myself out of it, I crossed the room and climbed on top of him, my heart pounding with everything I couldn’t say out loud.

“Theo, what are you doing?” His eyes flew open, the maroon depths flooding with panic as he stared up at me. His hands clung to my hips defensively, ready to either pull me in or push me away.

“Pinning you down so I can do this.”

Our lips met in a hesitant kiss, soft and searching, as if we were both learning how to be gentle with something fragile. His breath hitched, and I felt some of the tension ease as he kissed me back, tentative at first, then more certain.

Every nerve in my body ignited. My breath caught, my shoulders loosened, and the tight coil of stress I had carried for days began to unravel. I leaned into him without thinking, letting instinct guide me, my body recognizing before my mind that this was what we both needed.

When his lips pressed back more firmly, my breath shuddered out of me. I poured every unspoken apology and every fragile hope into that kiss, letting it speak the words that Ren refused to hear.

Ren’s lips moved down from mine, the metal piercing on his lip brushing against my jaw with gentle, teasing pressure. Each touch sent sparks along my nerves, and a warm shiver rolled through me. He lingered there for a moment before pressing soft, fleeting kisses along the side of my neck, each one deliberate, tentative, testing the space between us.

I caught my breath, chest tightening as every small movement of his lips made my heart stutter. This feeling was intoxicating, bringing me to the edge of madness, but I didn’t want to go there with him at that moment. We were both still confused and broken, and I needed to mend the rift between us.

“Ren.” I pulled back just enough to see his face, brushing my thumbs delicately along his cheeks. “I know you prefer to solve your own problems by yourself.” My voice softened. “But you don’t have to do that with me. Let me help carry your burdens with you. I’m here for you.” I leaned forward and pressed a light kiss to the tip of his nose. “I think it’s pretty obvious how much I care about you. Whatever’s going on, I’ve never judged you before. I’m not going to start now.”

A sad, almost broken smile touched his lips as he sighed. “I don’t deserve you, Theo.”

I shook my head, pressing my forehead against his. “Don’t say that. You deserve love, Ren. You deserve someone who sees you, all of you, and still wants to stay. Let me be that person.”

His hands trembled slightly as they found mine, clutching them as if letting go would make the moment vanish. “You know what I’ve done, Theo. You know about my past. How can you even look me in the eye?”

“I don’t care about the worst parts of your past,” I whispered. “I care about you now. The person in front of me. That’s the one who matters.”

His dark eyes glistened, heavy with emotion, and he let out a shaky breath. At first, he said nothing, but then out of nowhere, he casually mentioned, “Alex seems nice. Really building up his confidence.”

The unexpected words caught me off guard, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized Alex had been bothering him since the moment they first met. It wasn’t that he thought I was in love with Alex, but Ren and I had a special connection through my soul. Now that Alex was in the picture, and I shared my magic with him, Ren’s sacrifice didn’t seem as intimate.

“Are you seriously jealous of a nineteen-year-old?” I laughed, pressing a light kiss to his lips. I could feel his skin heat under my fingertips.

“What? Absolutely not! Why would I be jealous of him?” He turned away and the reddish hue of his skin became even redder.

“Ren, what Alex and I share isn’t the same as what we have. I never asked for Caspian’s magic, or to be intertwined with Alex’s. I never asked to become this … protector of the dead. But I did choose you. I willingly offered you my soul because I wanted you to have it. I wanted to be closer to you. I wanted you to feel like you mattered, like you had a purpose that wasn’t rooted in pain.”

“Theo—”