Page 83 of I’d Be Honored

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HER career, Hayley had taken the day off. She spent the morning brooding, trapped in an endless cycle of emotions. She tried to wipe the devastated look on Maddie’s face clean from her mind, just for it to be replaced by Maddie’s glowing smile, which had only blossomed wider with each day together.

Hayley longed for the ease with which she had opened up to Maddie about her past, her family, and the city that had shaped her. She yearned for the sight of Maddie perched on her counter in lingerie when she came home from work. She ached for the way Maddie had learned each delicate, reactive place on her body and used it to unravel her until she cried out with pleasure.

Hayley just needed a chance to explain. The whole thing had been a misunderstanding—surely Maddie would be able to see that. But every single one of Hayley’s calls and texts had gone unanswered.

From the night they met two and a half years ago, Hayley had sensed that something was different about Maddie, something that left her feeling deeply off-balance. She’d ignored it—ran from it, even—for as long as she could. And when she couldn’t any longer, she’d tried to convince herself that a single night would be enough, a brief release that would leave no lasting mark on either of their lives. But the pull between them had simply been too strong, and they had collided, forging something new and inseparable.

Hayley’s entire life had shifted to put Maddie in focus, and she felt the weight of it now. The city, her city, would never look the same. Sex would never feel the same. She knew she would never let another woman touch her the way Maddie had.

The memory of Maddie’s fingers trailing down her chest and stomach until they were inside her sent a fierce ache to her core. The surge of desire mingled with the pain of loss each time she remembered Maddie’s lips against hers. She felt like an addict, and Maddie had become her drug of choice. The withdrawal was about to tear her apart.

A loud bang on the door made Hayley jump. She stomped over to it, ready to unleash hell on whoever was on the other side.

She yanked the door open. “What are you doing here?”

“What the fuck, Hayley?” Gemma stormed past her, not waiting for an invitation.

“Well, hello to you too.” Hayley slammed the door behind her.

“Cut the bullshit. Why won’t you answer your phone? I called you a million times.”

“It wasn’t exactly a million,” Hayley muttered.

“Seriously?” Gemma’s tone had dropped to a deadly pitch. She looked at Hayley like she wanted to slap her across the face. “Did you hook up with Amy last night?”

“No.” Hayley didn’t flinch.

“Don’t lie to me, Hayley. Maddie told us everything.”

“Why did you come here to ask me then, since you think you know everything?” Hayley brushed past Gemma over to her couch and snatched her lowball glass from the coffee table, taking a large swig.

“Hayley Maddox.” Gemma’s voice tightened, a flush rising up her neck. “How could you do that to her?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be my friend?” Hayley snapped, staring straight at Gemma. “Do you even care to hear my side of the story?”

Gemma’s anger seemed to deflate a bit, and she sank heavily into the cushions beside Hayley. She just looked at Hayley, waiting to hear her explanation.

Hayley sighed, her own anger slowly dissipating. “I know I don’t have the best track record, but I wasn’t hooking up with Amy. I didn’t even know she was there until she came into the bathroom. I told her it was over. But she wouldn’t take no for an answer, and the next thing I knew, she had me trapped against the sink. I was trying to push her off me when Maddie came in.”

“Jesus,” Gemma groaned, rubbing her temples. “Why didn’t you tell her that?”

“You think I didn’t try? She won’t answer me.”

“Shit, I’m sorry, Hayley.” Gemma shook her head, looking ashamed.

“Whatever, it wouldn’t have worked out anyway. She was bound to get tired of me eventually, or the rose-colored glasses would’ve come off, and she’d have seen me for who I really am.” Hayley poured the rest of the eighteen-year-old bottle of scotch into her glass.

“Come on, I don’t think that’s—”

“Gemma, as much as I appreciate you coming here to yell at me for something I didn’t do, I think it’s time that you go back home to your wife.” Hayley lifted her glass and propped her feet up on the coffee table in an obvious sign of dismissal.

“Oh no you don’t. You’re not going to shut me out just because you’re angry. Maddie might not have said it out loud, but when I talked to her this morning, it was obvious that she’s completely in love with you. She’d do anything for you, but you’re so far up your own ass that you can’t see it.”

Gemma slid closer to her as if that would make her words hit harder. “I love you like a sister, which is why I can say this—you are an absolute idiot. You’re letting Maddie run away from you because you’re so convinced that you’ll end up losing her anyway. You can’t keep living in fear, Hayley.”

“I have you and Caitlin now. That’s all I need.”

“And you always will, but you know that’s not what I mean.” Gemma kissed Hayley on the cheek and stood. “I’ll be here if you need me, but I really hope you make the right decision before it’s too late. If it’s not already. Maddie left for the airport this morning. And for fuck’s sake, please stay away from Amy. I don’t give a damn how much commission she makes you.” She walked out the door without another word.