Page 52 of I’d Be Honored

“Why me?” Maddie asked quietly. She needed Hayley to say something that would reign in her foolish hope and make the line between them clear, once and for all.

Hayley turned toward her, moving closer as she tightened her grip on Maddie’s hand. “Why not you?”

Of course, it couldn’t be that easy.

“Oh, come on.” A slight grin tugged at her lips. “You’re not exactly subtle, Hayley. You haven’t liked me since the moment we met.”

Hayley opened her mouth to protest, but Maddie cut her off.

“Plus,” she added, holding up a single finger, “this has to go against at least one of your anti-dating rules.”

A warm breeze swept across the rooftop, and Hayley reached out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind Maddie’s ear, her fingers grazing her cheek.

“You’re right,” Hayley confessed, and Maddie looked at her in surprise. Not many people would ever hear those words coming from Hayley Maddox’s mouth. “I wasn’t your biggest fan when we first met, but that had nothing to do with you. I just didn’t trust Caitlin. I’m sorry that I wasn’t nicer to you.”

Maddie kept her voice low. “But that still doesn’t answer why you brought me here.”

Hayley sighed heavily and gazed out over the city.

“Gemma’s been telling me that I need to try to open up to people—that it’ll be good for me.” Her wry smile faded as she grew serious again. “I feel safe with you, like I could tell you anything.”

“You can,” Maddie breathed.

“I know.” Hayley looked her in the eyes. “Some woman is going to be very lucky to have you by her side someday.”

Maddie felt a dull ache in her chest and withdrew her fingers. “Just not you.”

Hayley stared at the empty space where Maddie’s hand had been, her face drawn.

Maddie wondered if she had pushed too hard. She was searching for a way to change the topic when Hayley finally spoke again.

“I lost my mom when I was fifteen,” she said into the darkness. “Breast cancer.” Her words hung in the air.

“I’m so sorry.” Maddie couldn’t imagine going through her teenage years without her own mother. Every milestone featured her mom, right there by her side—teaching her how to drive, fixing her makeup before prom, sobbing into the video camera at graduation. Her heart hurt at the thought of how much softness had been robbed from Hayley’s life.

“Thanks.” Hayley shifted uncomfortably. “My parents, now they were soulmates. They met their freshman year of college, and it was love at first sight. At least that’s what my dad always says.” She paused, her voice splintering.

Maddie yearned to reach out and wrap her arms around Hayley, but she didn’t move.

“After my mom died, he—” Hayley shook her head at a memory. “He was barely human. Losing her destroyed him. I remember everyone being at our house after her funeral, and I couldn’t find him anywhere. I refused to listen to one more story about my mom, and so I went looking for him. I wanted him to hold me while I cried, to tell me that our family was going to be okay.” She took a shuddering breath. “I stopped when I heard sobs coming from their bedroom. Who was I to ask for comfort when he had just lost the love of his life?”

“You were her daughter, Hayley.” Maddie’s tone softened with a quiet tenderness. “You loved her too.”

Hayley went on as if she hadn’t heard her. “So I just sat there. I sat against the door for over an hour while he cried, and that was when I realized that I needed to be strong for all of us—myself, Jonathan, and my dad. He was never the same after that.”

Maddie stared out into the night sky, trying to picture a gangly teenage Hayley cleaning up the dishes after her father while she should have been studying, or missing a movie night with friends to help her brother pick out his suit for graduation. A lump formed in her throat.

“For a while, I resented my dad,” Hayley continued. “But then I realized it wasn’t his fault—it was love that had broken him. I never want to experience that level of heartbreak, Maddie. I never want to lose myself in someone so completely that they can take my whole world with them when they go.”

Maddie hadn’t realized she’d started crying until Hayley turned and swept a gentle thumb beneath her eye. She didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t imagine the loss Hayley had suffered, but she also struggled to believe that a life of isolation was the solution.

She took a quiet breath. “I think love is always worth it, no matter how long it lasts.”

Hayley leaned into Maddie’s shoulder and softly began to cry.

Maddie wrapped her arms around Hayley as she whispered, “You’re afraid to stick out your chin and say, ‘Okay, life’s a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that’s the only chance anybody’s got for real happiness.’”

Hayley half-giggled, wiping Maddie’s sweatshirt where her tears had soaked through. “Did you just quote Breakfast at Tiffany’s to me right now?”