Page 37 of I’d Be Honored

On her way out the door, Maddie glanced over her shoulder at Hayley one last time with a furrowed brow. It looked like there was something she wanted to say, and Hayley nearly begged to hear it.

Then, Maddie was gone, and Hayley was suddenly alone again.

TEN

MADDIE STOOD IN THE HALLWAY ALONE, the click of the door shutting behind her echoing throughout the quiet building. She took a moment to recover from the shock of how quickly everything had unraveled, the warmth of Hayley’s apartment giving way to a biting late-night wind.

She sat in silence on the short cab ride home, still feeling the ghost of Hayley’s body pinning her to the mattress. But that woman, the one who had clung to Maddie with a desperate type of hunger, vanished as quickly as she appeared. The woman Maddie had just walked away from was nothing more than a stony shell.

Maddie tiptoed into Caitlin’s house around two o’clock in the morning, tossing her things onto the floor before throwing herself into the safe nest of her bed.

Hayley reminded Maddie of mad honey—the dark, blood-red honey produced from the nectar of certain toxic flowers. Its sweetness draws you in at first taste, but then it quickly turns sour, stinging your tongue and throat. Within an hour, toxins are pumping through your bloodstream, causing everything from hallucinations to paralysis. She had heard of people in LA buying it online for fun last summer.

Well, if Hayley was mad honey, then Maddie was a willing addict. She’d savor the fleeting sweetness and welcome the dysphoria that followed, knowing she would do anything just to taste it again. Whatever fragments of herself that Hayley was willing to offer, Maddie decided she would take.

MORNING CAME FASTER THAN MADDIE WOULD have preferred. When the sunlight streaming through her windows became too bright to ignore, she peeled her eyelids open and drew in a long, deep breath through her nose.

Hayley’s scent still clung to her. Notes of sandalwood and cedar mingled with blooms of violets, creating an aroma that was both invigorating and sophisticated.

Maddie closed her eyes, focusing on the smell. If last night was all she was going to get, she wanted to remember every detail. Every curve of Hayley’s body, every lick, every moan—she wanted to brand herself with their memory.

Maddie eventually dragged herself into the kitchen, praying silently that Caitlin and Gemma would be out running errands so she wouldn’t have to face their scrutiny before her coffee.

She grimaced when she turned the corner to find Gemma and Caitlin already seated expectantly at the kitchen table, as if they’d been waiting hours for her to wander in.

“Go ahead, just say it.” Maddie failed to suppress a smile.

“Say what?” Gemma asked, a corner of her mouth twitching upward as she looked at Caitlin in exaggerated, wide-eyed confusion.

“Maybe that her hair is a bird’s nest, her eyes are practically swollen shut, and she’s wearing the same top we saw her leave in yesterday?” Caitlin offered with an innocent shrug. “Squish, am I mistaken, or did Maddie tell us she was meeting Hayley for drinks last night?”

“You are indeed correct, my beautiful fiancée,” Gemma confirmed theatrically, and the two nodded solemnly in agreement.

“Do you two even need me here?” Maddie interjected, rolling her eyes.

Swapping out of the act with a huff, Gemma leveled a look at Maddie. “Did you, or did you not, have sex with Hayley Maddox last night?”

“Oh, that,” Maddie said innocently, stirring her coffee with one hand and waving the other. “Gemma, she’s your best friend, so maybe you should ask her. I wouldn’t want to overstep, you know.” She casually plucked a banana from the bunch hanging beside the refrigerator and began to retreat toward her room, shielding her mug against their bewildered stares.

“Wait!” Caitlin called out, suddenly jumping up from the table. “But what about me? I’m your best friend!”

Maddie grinned as she heard the frantic patter of footsteps follow her down the hallway. She stayed silent until they were safely inside the guest room, the door closed tightly behind them. The effort was unnecessary. She knew that Caitlin would rehash the details to Gemma as soon as she got the chance. But it didn’t matter. Maddie just wanted to be a girl talking about girls with her best friend.

“So?” Caitlin pressed, throwing out her arms.

“Cait,” Maddie breathed, instantly feeling nineteen again. “Oh. My. God.”

She set her mug down carefully on the stone coaster on the nightstand before collapsing onto the mattress, one arm thrown across her face with all the flair of a tragic actress.

Caitlin laughed, and Maddie felt the bed dip as she sat down beside her.

“Damn.” Caitlin shook her head, a wistful smile playing on her lips. “Who knew Hayley had it in her?”

Maddie didn’t know what to say. She’d never seen a script like this or encountered someone like Hayley before. The constantly shifting ground beneath them left her feeling off balance, and she still wasn’t sure whether the night had been a success or a catastrophic mistake.

Caitlin and Gemma had warned her not to pursue Hayley. Would they be upset that she did anyway?

Maddie took a jagged breath and told Caitlin everything, from the shots of tequila and the waitress at the bar, to Hayley’s apartment and how she had been unceremoniously dismissed from it. She kept a few parts to herself, though, like the way Hayley’s fingers had felt inside of her as they’d slowed. How Hayley had made Maddie beg.