Page 26 of Ever Dark Academy: Volume 6

“Well, it’s like you all said: absent me having some leverage, I would be a nightlight at best. So I must do what I must do. And when I realized it was you, Ashyr, I realized my luck,” Roan said.

“And you thought because you took her that I would intercede with Daemon?” Grayson asked.

“Of course.” Roan smiled.

Grayson found himself growing cold. His father was nearby. Perhaps touching his shoulder. Willing him to save his mother. Grayson turned his head to catch Ryder’s eyes. Ryder’s expression was carefully blank. He remembered what Ashyr was like, didn’t he? He understood that Ashyr always put Daemon above all else, didn’t he? And that the one time he hadn’t, had led to the War?

I love you. So much. But I’m not worthy of your love. Of my father’s love. Of my mother’s…

“Then you are mistaken,” Grayson said as he drew his gaze back to Roan.

Roan’s eyebrows rose. “Are you really expecting me to think that you would let your mother’s soul be lost forever just because you’re not willing to bend a little bit?”

“How long did you exist before the War?” Grayson asked.

“How long–”

“Yes, how long were you around before the War?” Grayson insisted.

“I have all of Kaly’s memories–”

“No, you don’t. Because if you did then you would know that you have no leverage over me,” Grayson cut him off.

There was silence in the room. It was so huge that it felt physical.

“I see. So you’re still the cold, icy General that you were before you gave your heart to Weryn?” Roan asked. “Actually, no, you probably still would be. But you had this life.”

“This life?” Grayson laughed shrilly. “This life.”

He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. The cold increased. He half expected his breath to frost. His father and likely Sam were trying to comfort him. But he didn’t deserve their comfort. They didn’t understand what he had to do. What he had to say.

“Your mother’s love for you is quite stunning. She made this house a practical shrine to when you were last here. It’s frozen in time.” Roan gestured around them.

It was Fiona’s gaze that he met when he lifted his head. She gave a nod. Did she know? Yes, Wyvern always understood, because she’d had to leave places and people behind because it was for the best for the future. That kind of strength, did he still have it?

“This house is like it is because of guilt,” Grayson said.

Roan stilled.

Grayson shook his head again. “She failed me. She knows it. Chose a poor mate. Brought an abuser into our house. Into my life. I had no choice, but she did. And she chose poorly.”

It was every childish feeling he’d ever had put into words. He knew that it wasn’t so simple. It never was. She’d made a mistake. He’d made plenty and they’d had terrible consequences. So had hers for both of them.

“That’s rather harsh!” Roan laughed and her eyes flickered amongst them all.

No one contradicted him. No one even shifted uncomfortably. In a way, Charlie looked rather bored though he, out of all of them, had no real ability to save himself if things went south here. What could Roan do in a human body? Did she have the Kaly gift still? He thought about what his power was doing to this body. What would the Kaly gift do to his mother’s?

“Yes, it is. But it is true,” Grayson continued. “I had to protect us from her mistake. And she rejected me for it. Of course, I was confused, afraid, and then alone. I had to run. And running as a child in this world isn’t quite a trip to DisneyLand. So, after I fixed the problem for us, she got to stay here in a nice warm house while I was on the streets.”

“Even if I were to believe this quite cold and unyielding stance you’re taking, you didn’t kill innocents without good cause,” Roan pointed out.

“But I do have good cause,” Grayson said.

He had the best cause. The only cause. This was why he had to shed this life. He couldn’t be bound by its weaknesses and lessons. Because he already was taking a risk by being with Ryder. He was opening himself up. But if he cared about his mother, his father, even Rachel… no, he couldn’t. Because Roan was only the first who would try to use who he cared for against him.

“Which is?” Roan asked, scowling.

Grayson’s breath frosted the air and he began to shiver. His father must be pressed right against him. He wished he could touch the older man. He wished he could explain. But his father was someone who cared about individuals above causes. His life had been about putting those he loved before himself. That was somewhat the same, but he had never been the general of an army, the right hand to a king, responsible for a whole species.