Page 13 of Ever Dark Academy: Volume 6

“Could I have done less? Could I have spared him? Yes, but that would only have been a temporary solution,” Ryder said. “He was poisoned maybe from the first. But he definitely grew further into it. Year after year. Did you always love him?”

She didn’t answer that for long moments, but then said, “No, not always. When that side of him came out that was… poisoned, as you say.”

He smoothed his hands over the wood desk. He remembered bringing down the tree that made this. It had been struck by lightning. He had finished felling it and then dragged it back to Nightvallen. He’d cut it, sanded it, stained it with his own hands.

“You cannot be half-in and half-out of Weryn, Natasha,” he said.

She nodded, her knuckles going white as she held her cup tightly.

“You might think that you’re saving your House from me, but what you’re really doing is exiling them from their own Bloodline for a man you didn’t always love,” he said. “And who didn’t deserve the love you gave him.”

She curled forward. “You think I should have stopped him.”

“I think we all should have,” he admitted. “You’re a leader. Strong, fierce, independent but also loyal, loving and caring. He was none of those things.”

“He wanted to be,” she whispered.

“I will take your word for that,” he said. “I am not holding the past against anyone.”

Her silver eyes flickered up to him.

“I would be the greatest hypocrite if I did. When I say this, I mean it. Caemorn–Kaly–is welcome in my palace and I am welcome in his. And we hurt one another far worse than anyone else,” he told her. “But he is my friend. He is family. He is pack. And because of this, we must go forward together and forgive one another.”

She didn’t blink as he spoke.

“If we can start anew, you are pack, Natasha. Everything in the past is in the past and it will stay there,” he told her. “But if you cannot forgive me, that is another choice open to you. But I will not let you take your House with you.”

Her head lifted. “You–”

“You go alone. They are free to make their own choices. Even your Children,” he said.

“Alone,” she breathed.

“That seems harsh to you. Perhaps even unfair,” he guessed.

“The old Weryn–the Weryn of tales–would have killed me,” she said.

He nodded. “I would have done so without giving you a chance to choose.”

“You do not keep your enemies close. You kill them and are done with them,” she said with understanding.

“But that was before. Now, I am giving you this choice.” He took a drink of his own wine.

She nodded. “If I wished to go, I already would have.”

He let that sentence lay. It was true. She had not only stayed, but had come to tonight’s meeting and made a good suggestion. Having her stay–if she was loyal–would finish any bad feelings about Lawson. Not that he thought anyone who actually knew Lawson mourned him other than her.

“I want to remain,” she said. “I want to be pack.”

He nodded. “Good. I am glad.”

“What can I do to assist? If you need any assistance–”

“Speak to Demos. Your idea about the hunt was a good one. You should be in charge of that aspect of the courting,” he said.

She nodded and rose with his nod of permission before she drained her glass and set it down. She studied his face before saying, “I would like to remember Lawson. I realize there’s no body to bury, but–”

“You can do something privately. But it will not be something that I recognize. He fought me, Natasha,” he said.