Page 48 of About to Fall

The question landed somewhere I wasn't prepared for.

“It wasn't all bad,” I said quietly. “Parts of it were really good.”

“The good parts are worse,” Adrian said, like he knew. “They're what make you stay.” A beat. “Happiness doesn't fix everything. Love doesn't either.”

I looked at him—this loud, abrasive, infuriating person sprawled on a hotel bed in Osaka, pink hair fanned on the pillow, something raw and unguarded in his eyes. The same person I'd been avoiding for weeks. The same person who had somehow gotten more out of me in ten minutes than most people managed in months.

He saw me. Not the version I pretended to be. The actual me. And he hadn't looked away.

“Speaking from experience?”

“No.” A pause, then a humourless laugh. “I've never stayed long enough for it to go bad. That's a different kind of fucked up.”

◆◆◆

Sabrina found a ramen place five minutes from the hotel—a little hole in the wall filled with more locals than tourists. That was always a good sign. The first landmine was the seating arrangements. Two narrow booths.

Ladies' choice. Sabrina slid in first. Théo slid in beside her as expected. I hesitated for exactly one second before sitting across from Sabrina, which was the coward's choice and I knew it. It meant I didn't have to look directly at Théo.

Adrian dropped into the remaining spot. No calculating, no agonizing over the social geometry, no consideration of whether sitting directly across from a man who clearly disliked him might be uncomfortable. If Théo had a problem with it, that was Théo's problem. Must be nice, living like that.

His knee pressed against mine under the table. I shifted my leg to the left. He followed. I shifted again. He followed again, solid and warm against mine. When I ran out of room, I drove my heel into the top of his foot.

He didn't flinch. Just picked up the menu. “So, what's good here?”

“The ramen,” Théo replied dryly.

This was getting off to a great start already.

Sabrina rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone. “Takaida-kei ramen is what they're known for. Are you allergic to shellfish? The reviews said their shellfish shoyu is also amazing.”

“Maybe I'll have both.”

“Both,” Théo muttered, barely audible. “Of course.”

“Did you say something, Beaubien?”

“Just admiring your appetite.”

Sabrina kicked someone under the table. From Théo's flinch, it was him.

“So,” she said with the bright, calibrated energy of a woman building a bridge in real time. “Osaka. How is everyone feeling about the competition?”

“Good,” I said. “Ready.”

“Focused,” Théo said.

“Hungry.” Adrian set down the menu. “What's that saying about devouring your competition?” He gave me a wolfish grin that I was absolutely not going to acknowledge.

Théo's jaw tightened almost imperceptibly. His eyes flicked from Adrian to me and back again.

“This must be different for you,” Théo said, bringing Adrian's attention back to him. “Did Coach Allen have any other senior skaters?”

“Nope.” Adrian didn't elaborate. Just leaned back and draped his arm along the top of the booth behind my head. I resisted the urge to elbow him.

“It's nice travelling with a team, isn't it?” Sabrina added. “I've explored a lot of cities with these two. Remember when we got lost in Tokyo?”

“Yeah, those tourists were convinced Théo was that J-pop star.” I smiled at the memory.