Page 109 of About to Fall

“To be fair, he was really amazing in bed and I wasn't thinking with my right head.”

“Nicky?”

“I mean, yes, the sex is amazing but I was talking about Ren. Both you and Cam like to bring him up a lot.”

“Yeah, ‘cause it highlights your not-so-great judgement.”

“Well this time's different.”

“Different? This is alternate universe shit. This is—” He grabbed another tiny bottle. “This is like if I suddenly announced I was taking up figure skating. Or joining a monastery. Or moving to Ottawa.” He pointed at me. “And it's not just a boyfriend. It's a figure skater. You—the guy who said and I quote, 'never shit where you skate'—are dating a competitor. In your sport. Who trains at your rink. Under your coach.”

“How do you even remember all this? I thought all that weed was supposed to kill your brain cells.”

“Some things are worth remembering. Like my best friend's hypocrisy.”

“When you put it like that, it sounds insane.”

“It sounds insane because it is insane.”

“You're being dramatic.”

“I'm being appropriately shocked.” He drained the second bottle. “How long?”

“Officially? Since Paris. But it started before that.”

“Started how?”

I hesitated. “We hooked up in Osaka.”

“Of course you did.”

“And then we kept... not being able to stay away from each other. And then I invited him to my room in Paris and one thing led to another. A few times. Then I told him I wanted more than just hooking up in hotel rooms and he said okay and now—” I gestured vaguely. “Now we're here.”

Bash sat back down, processing. “And it's serious?”

“Yeah.” I touched the chain around my neck—the one holding the cherry blossom pendant and the key to Nicky's bracelet. “It's serious.”

“Holy shit.” A slow grin spread across his face. “Adrian Zhao has a boyfriend. An actual, real, committed boyfriend.”

“Don't make it weird.”

“I'm not making it weird. I'm celebrating.” He pulled me into another hug, tighter this time. “I'm happy for you, man. You deserve this.”

“Thanks, Bash.”

“Even if it is Nicolas Fontaine, golden prince of figure skating.” He leaned back, studying my face. The grin softened into something more serious. “Is it weird?”

“Is what weird?”

“Competing against each other.”

“We’ve been competing against each other much longer than we’ve been dating.”

“Yeah but this is different,” Bash said and his voice dropped a notch. “Because if it goes sideways, it doesn’t just ruin a weekend. It ruins the ice. It ruins the rink. It turns every warm up into a minefield.”

I rolled my eyes but I didn’t interrupt. He and Cam could be such mother hens.

“And you don’t get unlimited chances at this,” he added, quieter now. “You get a handful of seasons where your body, your timing, your head are all aligned. You’ve been chasing gold your whole life. I’m not saying don’t do it.” He held my gaze. “I’m saying be careful. Don’t let a relationship—good or bad—cost you the thing you’ve bled for.”