Page 44 of The Hitman’s Final Job

I’ve been avoiding this for years, not knowing how much I missed by trying to protect my heart and stay away from Vaughn.

“Ready?” Rowan asks.

“Do we leave our stuff here?”

“Yes. Chris will meet us at our destination.”

We practice the commands in the calm water near the bank. Forward, back, hold on. The raft responds differently than I expected, but I get used to it quickly.

Hux watches me do this, giving me a thumbs-up when he’s satisfied I’m not going to drown us all.

“Hope you’re ready. Water looks good out there today. Should be fun.”

Rowan rubs his hands together. “Man, I can’t wait. Let’s go.”

The first rapid announces itself as a sound before I see it. There’s a low, building roar before Hux calls out commands. We paddle when the raft hits the white water, and the world becomes noise and spray and physical demand on my whole body and leaves no room for anything else.

The calm stretches between rapids are longer than I expected. It occurs to me I haven’t thought about Vaughn since we unloaded the van—the longest I’ve gone without thinking about him in five days. This is, I realize, probably why Rowan suggested this particular activity. My best friend is not subtle.

“When are you coming back?” he asks, paddling idly.

“Back where?”

“Colorado,” he says, like it should be obvious to me.

“I’m here now,” I say.

“You’re here for a few weeks,” he says. “That’s not the same thing, and you know it.”

I admire the river ahead. The mountains on either side, the water green and clear in the calm, the sound of the next rapid already beginning in the distance.

“My life is complicated,” I say.

“All forward!” Hux calls, and the world becomes noise again.

“How’s work?” I ask in the next calm stretch.

Rowan gives me a look. “You know I can’t talk about it.”

“Generally,” I say. “Not specifically.”

“Generally, it’s fine,” he says. “Generally, I’m doing something I believe in, something that matters, and I’m good at it. Although … I’d rather be doing it somewhere that isn’t a four-hour round trip from my dad.”

“Pine Ridge doesn’t have an FBI field office.”

“No,” he laughs. “It doesn’t.”

We paddle in silence for a moment. Hux points out a bighorn sheep picking its way along a ledge above the riverbank.

“Are you seeing anyone?” Rowan asks.

“Are you?”

“I asked first,” he says. “And yes, I date. I go on dates. I have been on multiple dates in the last year like a person who is participating in human society. You?”

“I’ve been busy,” I say.

“You’re always busy,” he says. “I haven’t heard about you being with anyone in years, Silas. Are you celibate? Is that what’s happening? Have you taken some kind of vow?”