Page 50 of From the Embers

“What if there isn’t an emergency placement?”

“There are licensed shelters and assessment centers when no foster home is available right away. It could be a few days or weeks until the caseworker assigned figures out a long-term plan.”

I stare at her trying to fathom the words. So many troubling thoughts wash through my mind, mainly, what will happen to Hope?

It sounds so uncertain, so awful. “So, that’s it? She’ll hopefully get placed somewhere?”

“She’ll remain under the care of the state until they can find that emergency placement.” She smiles kindly. “I know this is hard to hear, but nobody plans for these things.”

I know that’s true, but it doesn’t make any of this sound reasonably okay. This kid is ultimately in limbo, and she just lost her entire family.

“So, the best scenario is she’ll get placed with a foster?”

“Yes, and she’ll be offered therapy and on-going support. Later down the track, there’s the adoption route, but that wouldn’t be right away. Right now finding someone, a couple or a family who specializes in fostering trauma cases like this one, is going to be the challenge,” Jenny says. “It may be that she has to move around a little until that secure placement can be given. These things can often take time.”

“Holy shit, that just sounds like a living nightmare,” I blurt without thinking. Poor Jenny, she must think I’m insane.

“It’s certainly not without its challenges. She’s such a sweet little thing. At her age she understands to a degree, but not fully. She’s only five. We also don’t know the degree of trauma she’ll suffer because of the accident. It’s all hearsay. We know she will have memories of it, and that’s where issues could lie later in life. Trauma can sneak up on you. Children can often suppress it in order to protect themselves.”

Was it too late to get it sugar coated?

It breaks my fucking heart, that’s all I know. “But she’s going to be okay, right?”

I know Jenny can’t tell me that, but right now I need her to lie to me. It’s selfish. She shouldn’t have to make me feel better about a shitty situation over a child I don’t even know—that won’t solve anything, except make me feel better. I just want to help. I can’t even imagine what this poor kid is about to go through when the realization really kicks in that nobody is coming for her.

“The authorities will certainly do their best,” she says reassuringly.

“But it’s no guarantee…”

“You’re right, all we can do is hope.” She smiles, but it doesn’t quite touch her eyes. She’s probably seen this umpteen times. I’m not saying she doesn’t care, I’m sure she does, but she has a job to do and rounds to complete. I’m a bleeding heart. “Call out if you need anything, okay?”

“Thanks,” I say with a small smile as she keeps going on her rounds, and I slump against the wall feeling small.

Why? How could this happen? What is Hope supposed to do?

This is more than a shitty situation—it’s diabolical. It’s times like this I start to think about the whys, and I give up because none of it makes any sense.

I pick up my phone and text Carrie.

Adi

Hey sis, how’re you doing?

A reply bounces back. She must be on break.

Carrie

Hi kiddo, how are things?

Adi

Great, I’m thinking a get together in a few weeks, we need to make some plans for Thanksgiving

Carrie

Oh, fantastic! Dad and I might drive to the city next week, we could do lunch

Adi