Page 86 of Instigator

She’s not a distraction. She’s just there. A constant. Something steady in the middle of everything else.

I hear her voice in my head like she’s right behind the glass, calm and certain the way she always is when I’m overthinking.

Stop thinking. Just shoot.

I almost smile.

I pull the puck to my backhand, get the defenseman to commit, then shift it back to my forehand as the goalie opens just enough.

That’s all I need.

I shoot.

The puck snaps off my stick and buries itself inside the far post. The horn explodes through the arena a beat later.

And just like that, everything else disappears.

“That’s what I’m talking about,” Ryan yells as he tackles me in a celebratory hug.

“Nice one, Cap,” Sinclair shouts.

I head to the bench to fist-bump the rest of my teammates, then clamber over and chug some water.

Glancing up at Coach, I’m relieved to see his earlier disappointment absent, a satisfied gleam in his eyes.

“Now do it again,” he gruffs.

I huff a breath of laughter but don’t fight it.

Unfortunately, I don’t manage another goal, but it’s not for lack of trying. Easton squeezes one past the goaltender, bringing the score to 4–2.

And when the clock runs out, it’s with pride blooming in my chest that I lead the team back to the dressing room.

“You were on fire out there,” Ryan comments as we stand at our cubbies, stripping off our gear.

“Took a while to get going.”

“Yeah, but once you did…” He nudges me with his sweaty elbow pads. “Think she was watching?”

I don’t pretend like I don’t know who he’s talking about.

“Already know she was.” I grab my phone off the shelf, unlocking it to show him a whole page of notifications. She likes to live-text me her reactions as she’s watching.

“You miss her, don’t you?”

“I really do.”

“You’ve been different the last few weeks. It seems like she is good for you.”

“So good. She was the missing piece of the puzzle.”

His face falls, concern on his features. “You know she doesn’t magically make you whole, right? You are a complete person on your own.”

“That’s not it. She’s been such a big part of my life for so long. We had very strict boundaries. And then they fizzled away, and it’s escalated quickly. Being with her… it’s the first time I’ve wanted to be with anyone. First time I’ve wanted to try.”

We have a five-hour plane ride back home, but it might as well be fifty for how long it will feel. I want to be with her now. To pull her into my arms and hold her tight.

Ryan rolls his eyes. “Go home and get her.”